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Edited by Krishnas Prophet:
11/22/2015 9:16:14 AM
151
Where Does Xur Go? Post your Theories
So, as of now hes leaving in like 3hrs. Where does he go? I know he serves the Nine, but I thought Frodo killed them...
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He goes to his mansion made out of strange coins from the Zhalo and G-Horn weeks
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He buys in bulk from the dismantle bin at Spacemart!
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Ask your mother.
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home. he goes home and looks at all mean posts everyone makes of him. then he laughs at all the NERF sunbreaker posts as well.
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1 ReplyZurich
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Underneath the big cellar door the cryptarch stands near
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2 RepliesHe goes back to his mansion and Lamborghini. He also likes to build bookshelves in his spare time. Do you know what he likes more than strange coins? [spoiler]Knowledge[/spoiler]
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Xur is always there, watching and probably masturbating, until the weekend when he reveals himself to us and offers his suspiciously sticky and discolored wares.
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6 RepliesHe takes our coins, pours them on to his bed and makes them even stranger.
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Xur returns to Europa, one of Jupiters moons. That is where the Nine are said to live in the grimore.
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1 ReplyAfter he sells us complete shit, he goes to bungie to tell them how funny it was.
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3 RepliesHe goes to the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond
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Petra's house. Xurs a pimp.
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The circle I created for him[spoiler]in hell[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyHe eats them. Where do you think xurrios come from?
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He goes to Halo 5
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Xur reads the forum to see what guardians want the most so he knows not to deliver it.
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1 ReplyEdited by CALLY 2087: 11/23/2015 1:35:43 AMMy son asked this today... I said he's gone back to the other 8...
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The bathroom
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1 ReplyHe goes home and cuts 3oC coupons from Walmart flyers, so he can head to the tower and pedal them to us and pretend they do something.
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Im fairly convinced that he hangs out in the tower bar hitn on anything warm. . . Or some time cold blooded (hes not speciesest), waring his super criptark mask untill hes too drunk to feel his face tenticles and ends up sleeping under the walk ways of the tower. Only arising for his weelly 3 min visit to the 9 who make less than kind remarks about his personal appearance thus returning to us a highly evolved but shattered, babbling husk of a land molosk
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He goes back to Jupiter to get stupider
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Bungie employee-' Well, how did it go this week?' Xur-'You should have seen how many tears there were this week. I'm telling you this idea to sell engrams from year one is a sure thing!' BE- 'Yeah, and the funny thing is they keep doing it like it's gonna mean something or some such. Oh the sweet sweet power of it all' X-'Err yeah....Anyway I'm off for the weekend, got me a hot Venetian Babe in a Jacuzzi waiting for me in the Hotel Ishtar just outside the Guardian area.' BE- 'Hey! Watch your mouth, those data miners could be listening.' X-'Sure, sure.' BE-' I'm serious. You start babbling that stuff in the Tower and somebody is gonna twig that The Guardian Zones aren't the only places you can visit.' X-'Mmmm. You guys really are uptight about that. Why don't you just go openworld with this? It would save a load of hassle.' BE-'Like we said at the briefing. We can't afford the controversy. Look how hard it was keeping Joe Staten quiet.Why do you think we ask you to charge Strange Coins? I mean, what the hell he wants these things for I have no idea. But hey, each.to their own' X-'I heard he throws them at the screen.' BE-'Funny, real funny' X- 'Anyway, I'm gone' BE-'Aren't you forgetting something?' X-'Oh yeah, sorry. My mind is not my own don't forget' BE-'And neither are those strange coins so hand em over and go do whatever you do for a week.' X-'I could show you but you wouldn't survive what with being just a human an all'
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He goes to the inner City to work his day job where he calculates the precise weight of all the salt produced by the Bungie Salt Mining Co.
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2 RepliesBack to Europa to swim in his strange coin vault. Just like Scrooge McDuck
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Either the strip club or to his mass production legacy engram factory with no weapons
