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OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
Edited by MrsPlatinumOG : 10/26/2015 5:26:36 PM
77

So 72 virgins

When you die and go to heaven. This is if you hypothetically are muslim and is a suicide bomber. Such a silly thing to tell followers of a "religion." Well they apparently need a motive to look forward to, accomplishing a common goal. Anyways, I can get into the fabrication of that but for offtopic my real question. 72 virgins or would you rather have 72 whores? Sidenote: would you really want to teach 72 woman to have sex or have woman please you and know what they're doing. Plus if you catch anything you're in heaven right, no diseases would effect you there. Also eh virgins would be heaven for most. Okay those were my thoughts. A shitpost, I think not! Let's hear your answers and thoughts. Edit: people wonder why this isn't a poll. I wanted to make the answers open-ended meaning every comedian on the planet had to have joked about the 72 virgins one time. lol. I actually wanted to hear some funny responses and honest ones.

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  • A jihadist died and approached the gates of heaven. At the Pearly Gates stood George Washington. With a quick slap slap across the face George exclaimed, "How dare you try to destroy the Nation I helped conceive?" Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed." James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!" Thomas Jefferson was next, beat the man with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence." The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger upon the man. As he lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. The man wept and said, "I have served Allah in life and death, yet this is how I am welcomed into heaven? This is not what was promised me." The Angel replied, "What are you whining about? We told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What were you expecting?"

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