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#writing

Edited by Sylok's Defiler: 8/21/2015 10:26:14 PM
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A Novel Idea (Writing RD and Critique Thread)

Welcome to the aptly-named Writer's lounge [i]A Novel Idea[/i]. Here, would-be authors, part-time writers, and anyone with a creative mind can share their Rough Drafts of writing and fan fiction. Complimentary links will be created if and when they need to be, but just post whatever you come up with, and let other people voice their opinions on your work. Criticism is always welcome, so long as it isn't straight up slander. Enjoy! IMPORTANT EDIT: for shits and giggles, if you ever feel like writing a story with multiple chapters or long blogs of fanfiction, incorporate this thread in your work as an Easter egg in some way, shape, or form. Example: "why don't we take Bakini Bottom and push it somewhere else?" "Hey, now there's a novel idea." OR "This guy I talked to, he's, uh... He's part of a PMC my organization works with. I forget his name and he's obsessed with old rock and blackjack, but he's one hell of an asset."

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  • [quote]Solar, introduction.[/quote] Sunny opened her eyes sleepily, her hand moving to slap the snooze button on her vintage clock. It was an old, 21st century era alarm clock, and it was angrily blaring for her to wake up. It was incredibly annoying, but she found it useful in that way. Her hand smacks it finally, shutting the irritating thing off. She rubs the sleep from her eyes and glances around at her new quarters: It was small, basic, boring. It was maybe 8 meters wide and 5 long, the standard green blanketed bunk bed was empty with the exception of her sitting on the top of the pair. Sunny hops down after a small groan, it was 5AM and her first mission was today. She was secretly dreading it, after all the training and talk of alien menace, the danger, the excitement, the treasure, it made her nervous, and slightly terrified of failure. Several knocks sound on her door, probably an instructor or something. She walks over to her trunk and searches for something important to her. "The door is unlocked, it's fine~!" The door opens and a young awoken hesitantly shuffles around the door, then turns away, his face reddening. "M-miss, uh..." She was still in her bedclothes: A plain grey tank top and some darker shorts. For some reason he found this embarrassing to see. He was an awkward one around her, like half the younger male recruits by her side throughout training. She had been told she was quite beautiful, her hair a brunette's, long and clean. Her face clear and soft, unmarred entirely. Though whenever she was told, she wouldn't see it of herself and sometimes would try to tell then how she wasn't. Of course, the truth was they were right, as evidenced by the young awoken in her doorway. "I'm not showing you anything you don't already see around here Auriel, the other women are very open about their stuff more then I am..." He's stiff, still hesitant, red in the face. When he hears his name he perks up, clearly happy that she knew it without talking to him a lot. She knew everyone's name. "Y-yeah, I guess so...." He glances around, looking for a way out. "...sooo..." "Why did you come down? I'm sort of out of the way over here." "Oh! Uh, I actually uh, forgot a little... That one lady, I think her name is Ikora, told me to tell you that it's time. She didn't say more. It's your initiation isn't it?" She flinches at the news, then feigns checking her hand to see what non-existent cut she might have from rummaging around her possessions. He's still standing in the door like a gazelle in front of a lioness, frightened to make the wrong move... She finds the pendent, a golden metal sun, she wasn't sure where it came from, she simply found it on her bed when she moved in. She quickly sets it off to the side and stands up, turning to Auriel. "I guess it couldn't hurt to tell you. Yes, it is. I'm going out to old Australia or something to help a team search for clues to where a survivor group is. If it goes well, or they just like me I guess, I'm officially a Guardian inductee..." She could barely hide her nervousness, her voice even cracked slightly at the last bit. He smiles brightly, apparently not noticing her gulp as she finishes. "Awesome! I'd love to see you around sometime! Maybe we could hang out at lunch or something...? If it isn't uh, too much trouble...?" "I guess we'll see how it goes first, I'd rather have something to be happy about if I'm going to a meal with you and your friends. I gues-" "It's just going to be us..." He uncomfortably rubs the scruff of his neck, looking down. "We'll see afterwards, ok?" "Y-yeah... Ok...." She feels bad for him, she won't be going on a date with him. She didn't find any love for him. He's young, it will be hard for him. "I have to get dressed so.... Can you step out for a second...?" "Yeah, s-sure, I have to go see my brother anyway... Talk to you later I hope..." He shuffles back out of the door, he never lost his red face. Sunny gives him a quick smile before he shuts the door. She appreciated him though, some of the other women were pretty jealous and petty about her looks. She found the guys adorable when they were like this. She lets out a sigh, then steps into the small box of a shower. She opens a built in compartment and takes out her training padding. She slips into the bodysuit and zips it up, it conforms to her slender form as she fits the padding onto her chest, outer joints, and the obvious places of importance. She washes her face, letting the water run down her soft cheeks, then gets another look at herself before pocketing the pendant and heading out to the hanger bay.

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