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Edited by The Cellar Door:
9/11/2015 12:56:14 PM
110
List of Topics That Suck
Daily reminder that the The Cellar Door seal of approval™ comes in a bundle pack with every quality post you make.
Why should I be the judge of what a quality post is? I shouldn't, however I have a good understanding of posts that are not quality.
[b]Pro Tip: Having actual discussion value, so much so that your topic can produce greater than one sentence answers, and doesn't get muddled with spam, or encouraging critical thinking is a good start at posting quality topics. If everyone posts quality topics, that then makes the subforum a place for reoccurring quality discussion.[/b]
So please, visitors of #offtopic, add on to the list of topics (threads) that suck in your comments, I'll edit them in if agreeable. Also, before you say this topic or any of my threads, I know my posts suck, that's my problem and not yours. I'm making this list to hopefully encourage posters into making better threads.
[b][u]The Shit List[/u][/b]
[spoiler]I realize that some of these threads have been coming up recently, so I apologize to any authors that feel like I'm "calling them out." There is no offense intended.[/spoiler]
"Rate me!!!"
"Follow me!!!"
"Join muh clan!!!" (Go to #recruitment you scrub)
"Who's your favorite users"
"Which users would you [insert verb]"
"Which users do you hate?"
"[insert user name] [insert negative/positive predicate]" (seriously just PM the user)
"Top 5 users of all time"
"I have a vagina lol love me"
"[uninteresting occurrence] AMA"
"Lol I'm sad gunna kill myself try to stop me"
"My [family member/pet/friend] died gimme all your sympathies"
"[insert religion/belief/world view] is wrong bcuz [insert different religion/belief/world view] is right"
"Religion wrong science right, me smart"
"Science wrong religion right, me holier-than-though, you pseudo-intellectual"
"[insert controversial topic] is wrong bcuz [opposing side] is right"
[spoiler]I'm not saying intellectual debate is not quality discussion, but it is evident that it's simply next to impossible on this forum, unless in small groups, or if the OP has put thought behind his/her post, and the users in the replies to the same.[/spoiler]
"*[verb] you*"
"Lenny Lenny Lenny lenny..."
"Why was I banned?! I am underserving!!! [spoiler][insert ninja username] should be demoted!!" (You were deserving, don't act coy. The ninja's actions are justified. If you really don't believe so, PM one, or read the part of the CoC that clearly states "You have [b][i][u]no[/u][/i][/b] rights. Play nice.")[/spoiler]
"Ban [insert username]"
"[insert praise for poster who constantly violates the Code of Conduct]!!!"
"Don't post [x] here" example: [spoiler]"Don't post [lenny face] here," to which the thread is filled with Lenny faces. You aren't clever, and your post is meaningless. This sort of thread is only funny when the comments are not expected. A funny example would be a poster asking to photoshop a picture of a family member for a family event, to which the replies a filled with photoshops that would certainly not be appropriate to view at a family party. I remember on 4chan a user wanted a picture of his brothers that died in a car crash cropped, and the thread was filled with pictures of them in police chases and crashed cars, absolutely hilarious.[/spoiler]
"Selfie thread!" (Filled with catfishes)
"[insert title that's misleading and irrelevant to the OP to grab attention]"
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Edited by Gomly1980: 9/11/2015 11:17:36 AMSomeone said it but it needs saying again. Any topic that starts "am I the only one" ..... you are NEVER the only one. Attention seeking depression threads ..... when all is said and done, this is a gaming website. People come here for fun, we don't come here so some unknown can drag us into group therapy. Even those people that pretend to care at the time will forget about whoever it was a few hours after they close the page down if not sooner. Death threads ..... every single person here has known someone who died. The vast majority has lost someone close to them. Some of us have lost quite a few. What we don't do is start threads on a (again) a gaming website to try and get likes/sympathy off complete strangers. There are grief counselors for that, we are not your therapists. Selfie threads ..... Always go the same way. The picture of the lasses will have a few hundred comments while all the others will have between 0 and 3. Most of the comments on the lasses pictures are from the desperate amongst us with severe thirst, the rest are people mocking those thirsty ones. Any religion or anti religion thread ..... They never end well, scratch that, they never start well. I see the exact same arguments in every single thread, there is practically no difference between them. People start them for likes/attention. They very rarely have any sort of discussion value. The AMA threads need to burn in the fiery pits of hell. Suicide threads are the absolute worst though. Running through the middle of a tribe of cannibals covered in mustard makes more sense than coming here to tell us they are going to kill themselves. Like I said above, even those that pretend to give a shit will forget about it soon after. Simply put, we are not friends on here, we are random folk that come here to talk shit, sometimes about video games. What we don't come here to talk about is how some halfwit is so depressed their mummy took their smartphone away or their "loved one" left him for a jelly bear that they are planning to take their own lives. Said it once and i'll say it again, we are not therapists.
