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Edited by Chvrches: 9/5/2015 5:32:37 PM
24

If you just copy pasta, you're not funny.

Nor are you creative, you're a 12 year old with no ideas of your own so you copy someone's story and try to pass it off as funny. You're lame, be original. Edit; stop or I [i]will[/i] report you [i]all[/i].

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  • [spoiler] You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As wesay in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructionsprinted on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would ratherkiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation inthe Islets of Langerhans.You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless littleworm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, acad, and a weasel. I take that back; you are a festering pustule on aweasel's rump. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench,a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the samespecies as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf atthe very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut.Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You area weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. You are a technicolor yawn.And did I mention that you smell?You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature and a heavy-metal bagpipeplayer. You were not born. You were hatched into an unwilling worldthat rejects the likes of you. You didn't crawl out of a normal egg,either, but rather a mutant maggot egg rejected by an evil scientistas being below his low standards. Your alleged parents abandoned youat birth and then died of shame in recognition of what they had doneto an unsuspecting world. They were a bit late.Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attemptingto impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are anincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be ableto access it ever so much more rapidly. If cluelessness were crudeoil, your scalp would be crawling with caribou.You are a thick-headed trog. I have seen skeet with more sense thanyou have. You are a few bricks short of a full load, a few cards shortof a full deck, a few bytes short of a full core dump, and a fewchromosomes short of a full human. Worse than that, you top-post. Godcreated houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks,slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered hisstandards and made you. I take it back; God didn't make you. You areSatan's spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in theslough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. Youare a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered inbredtrout-defiler. You make Ebola look good.You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid,nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, anignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex withyou. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost ina land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant and your markupdoesn't validate. You have a couple of address lines shorted together.You should be promoted to Engineering Manager.Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to beread? Everyone plonked you long ago. Do you fantasize that yourtantrums and conniption fits could possibly be worth the $0.000000001worth of electricity used to send them? Your life is one bigW.O.M.B.A.T. and your future doesn't look promising either. We need totrace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and cousins in orderto cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news is that nonormal human would ever mate with you, so we won't have to go into thesewers in search of your git.You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous andobnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a livingemptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are aloathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You makeQuakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You have a version 1.0mind in a version 6.12 world. Your mother had to tie a pork choparound your neck just to get your dog to play with you. You thinkthat HTTP://WWW.GUYMACON.COM/FUN/INSULT/INDEX.HTM is the name of arock band. You believe that P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer whoever lived. You prefer L. Ron Hubbard to Larry Niven and JerryPournelle. Hee-Haw is too deep for you. You would watch test patternsall day if the other inmates would let you.On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You aredeficient in all that lends character. You have the personality ofwallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted.Spammers look down on you. Phone sex operators hang up on you.Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you. You are the sourceof all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.May you choke on your own foolish opinions. You are a Pusillanimousgalactophage and you wear your sister's training bra. Don't botheropening the door when you leave - you should be able to slime yourway out underneath. I hope that when you get home your mother runsout from under the porch and bites you.You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock.You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You cloutedboggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. Yougormless crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpoleponce. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockeredbum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. Youdread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. May yourspouse be blessed with many bastards.You are so clueless that if you dressed in a clue skin, doused yourselfin clue musk, and did the clue dance in the middle of a field of hornyclues at the height of clue mating season, you still would not have aclue. If you were a movie you would be a double feature;_Battlefield_Earth_ and _Moron_Movies_II_. You would be out of focus.You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. Youare the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic camel.You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed stains. Youare degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just knowing thatyou exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would goaway. You are jetsam who dreams of becoming flotsam. You won't makeit. I beg for sweet death to come and remove me from a world whichbecame unbearable when you crawled out of a harpy's lair.It is hard to believe how incredibly stupid you are. Stupid as a stonethat the other stones make fun of. So stupid that you have traveledfar beyond stupid as we know it and into a new dimension of stupid.Meta-stupid. Stupid cubed. Trans-stupid stupid. Stupid collapsed toa singularity where even the stupons have collapsed into stuponium.Stupid so dense that no intelligence can escape. Singularity stupid.Blazing hot summer day on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in oneminute than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. It cannotbe possible that anything in our universe can really be this stupid.This is a primordial fragment from the original big stupid bang. A pureextract of stupid with absolute stupid purity. Stupid beyond the lawsof nature. I must apologize. I can't go on. This is my epiphany ofstupid. After this experience, you may not hear from me for a while.I don't think that I can summon the strength left to mock your moronicopinions and malformed comments about boring trivia or your otherdrivel. Duh.The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snippedaway most of your of what you wrote, because, well ... it didn'treally say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame waspitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among aload of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, afteryou have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have moresuccess. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal"people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering.But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in thisworld who find these things to be difficult. If I had known that thiswas true in your case then I would have never have exposed myself towhat you wrote. It just wouldn't have been "right." Sort of likeparking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in theemotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such ademand on you.P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful,cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable,belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal,fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic,brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame,self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, fraudulent,libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, EDLINoid,illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking,devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic,fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased,suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim,crazy, weird, dyspeptic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim,unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive,mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive,abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and Generally Not Good. [/spoiler] I ran out of space.

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