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The promises of satan don't compel you?
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No. Couch is too comfortable
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Go to hell literally
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Sorry. That would require me to get off of my couch
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Damn it I will have satan take you to hell your couch will burn like dry maple
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My couch is fireproof
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I will bring the might of the traveller on it
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Sorry, the traveler won't do it. I've had it over before, and it likes my couch too much to destroy it. In fact, it'll fight to protect it.
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You will falter
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No, I'll just sit on my couch. Not doing much there, there's not much to falter in.
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Damn it