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Destiny

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Edited by unasked: 8/25/2015 12:39:24 PM
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A RANT ABOUT THE PIKES!!!! IM QUITTING THIS GAME

^^^ [i][u]PART 2 IS UP[/u][/i] ^^^ Okay, so I have a bit of an obsession with the Fallen Pike. Every day I would go to the moon and wait until the Dregs came along with their sexy Pikes. Then I'd kill them, mount their Pikes and I would be happy. I thought everything was good because I was special. I didn't see anyone else on a Pike. All that changed when I first played the Winter's Run strike. After defeating the hordes of enemies, it was my surprise to see four GLORIOUSLY GLORIOUS PIKES sitting there ready to be ridden like a Kardashian. However, the other two fireteam members mindlessly ran to the Pikes before me. My heart shattered as I saw them ride off. Those were MY Pikes. [i][u]The Fallen didn't mind if I took their Pikes.[/u][/i] I couldn't believe what was happening. Suddenly, this feeling came across me. I shrieked and yelled at my monitor. I spazzed out and threw the controller at my pet rhinoceros. He dropped dead instantly. The blood of the rhino was majestic but it was staining my spaghetti. Then I ran outside. I had been working on a replica of the Heavy Pike, the Holy Grail of vehicles. It wasn't done yet, but in my rage and fury I forgot that work still had to be done - it was dangerously unstable. I mounted the Heavy Pike and didn't wait for the garage door to open - I busted right through that bitch. My neighbors outside were terrified and they ran inside to digest their watermelon tacos in peace. The first thought I had was to head downtown. Pedestrians ran amok as I strafed left and right, releasing the deadly shock grenades. I pulled out my replica Shock Blade and shanked a small obese child. [i]Fatass Pike stealing douchebag[/i] I thought, even though he had nothing to do with the incident. A voice in my head told me I was going too far but I got on my imaginary Pike and ran that voice over. I didn't know someone had tipped off the cops. I was riding to the next city over. My rage was being released through the arc cannons on the Pike. Two unmarked police cruisers came out of nowhere to form a roadblock. I tried my best to swerve out of the way, but since the Pike was lacking proper strafe thrusters (I was using salty Desticle tears as a temporary replacement), the impact of the barricade hit me like a Skiff turret. It sent me ragdolling through the air. I broke almost every bone in my body. [spoiler]Even my penis. I had an erection because Pikes turn me on.[/spoiler] The last thing I remember was reaching to rub a pair of hard objects on my chest. It was dark after that. I'm sitting in the mental ward as I type this. Not sure how I got this phone to tell you my story. Hell, I'm not sure how I remember this whole incident. I'm not sure of anything anymore. The story made the news. A man gone crazy. A heartless murderer. None of it is true. I would do anything for the Pikes. Damnit, Fox News. However, I can tell you that the Pikes in the Winter's Run strike must be removed. For my sake. Do I regret what I've done? No. Will it happen again? Probably not. I plead of you, BUNGIE. Or you lose another obsessed player. I must go now. The nurses have sensed something is missing. But I can tell you that my love for Pikes will forever remain. Edit: I'm SO VERY glad you guys all like the story! the positive feedback makes me feel good like when I think about pikes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I was legit in the middle of Winter's Run when I wrote this lmao

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  • During that Winters run strike it was a Void Burn Nightfall. I teamed up with a guy and another that where in a party together and didn't let me join. They ran through the strike as quick as possible and when they got to the Pikes they put several rounds in to two of the Pikes. They blew one up and ran for the other two. I mounted the only one left that was smoking and burning. I followed them in desperation, the Pike I was driving caught just one Hobgoblin sniper round and promptly blew up. They knew exactly what to do. They left me there, without any where to run during a Nightfall. They ran on ahead and left me to try and get past the Minotaurs. When I got to the Archon Priest he was one shot away from being dead. I didn't get to fire one round because my teammates obliterated everything for me. Hard to be mad at them though, that was pretty funny.

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