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8/18/2015 1:42:35 AM
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[quote]BUNGIE WHY??? Okay, so I have a bit of an obsession with the Fallen Pike. Every day I would go to the moon and wait until the Dregs came along with their sexy Pikes. Then I'd kill them and ride along on their Pikes and I was happy. I thought everything was good because I was special. I didn't see anyone else on a Pike. That changed when I first played the Winter's Run strike. After defeating the hordes of enemies, it was my surprise to see four GLORIOUSLY GLORIOUS PIKES sitting there ready to be ridden like a Kardashian. However, the other two fireteam members ran to the Pikes before me. My heart shattered as I saw them ride off. Those were MY Pikes. The Fallen didn't mind if I took them. I couldn't believe what was happening. [quote]I shrieked and yelled at my monitor. I spazzed out and threw the controller at my pet rhinoceros. He dropped dead instantly.[/quote] Then I ran outside. I had been working on a replica of the Heavy Pike, the Holy Grail of vehicles. It wasn't done yet, but in my rage and fury I forgot that work still had to be done. I mounted the Heavy Pike and didn't wait for the garage door to open - I busted right through that bitch. My neighbors outside were terrified and they ran inside to peacefully digest their watermelon tacos. Time to head downtown. Nothing but destruction and anger was left after I went through. A voice in my head told me I was going too far but I got on my imaginary Pike and ran that voice over. I didn't know someone had tipped off the cops. I was riding to the next city over. However I did not know that there was a roadblock set up. I could not see anything through my salty Desticle tears, so the impact of the barricade hit me like a Skiff. It sent me ragdolling through the air. I broke almost every bone in my body. [spoiler]Even my penis. Pikes turn me on.[/spoiler] The last thing I remember was rubbing a pair of hard objects on my chest. It was dark after that. I'm sitting in the mental ward as I type. Not sure how I got this phone to tell you my story. I'm not sure of anything anymore. The story made the news. A madman who has autism. None of it is true. Damnit, Fox News. However, I can tell you that the Pikes in the Winter's Run strike must be removed. For my sake. Do I regret what I've done? No. Will it happen again? Probably not. I plead of you, BUNGIE. Or you lose another obsessed player. I must go now. The nurses have sensed something is missing. But I can tell you that my love for Pikes will forever remain.[/quote]
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