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Edited by Tartarus:
8/18/2015 4:35:16 AM
36
You're walking through the woods...
...when in the distance you hear the faint chant. "Crab people. Crab people. Crab people." The chanting grows louder, you know you can't stay longer. As you begin to stride away, you notice rustling in the underbrush. You peer closer attempting to make out the figure that is snooping around in the woods. The figure finally emerges from the bushes, rears back on its hind legs showing its true height and power, you scream, "It's Griizly!" Griizly roars in defiance as you dash in the opposite direction. You run for what seems like forever when finally you reach your stallion, a 2015 Toyota Prius, [i]awww yeah.[/i] You turn the key in the ignition and your car purrs to life, you rev it a few times because the sound of the highly efficient engine is like ecstasy in your ears. You turn on the radio only to be hit with the hottest single of 2015. "Dam U a str8 baby girl" by DJ Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats hot enough to melt steel beams since 2001. Just as you are about to coast off and leave the woods, Griizly slams into the side of your car and you flip into a ditch. Quickly, you scramble to exit your burning mess of a vehicle, one single tear escapes your eye. You look at Griizly, laying on the ground, blood pooling out of his side. The chanting begins again, louder now. "Crab people, crab people, taste like crab, talk like people." Your eyes widen with horror as you finally find out what is chanting. Emerging from the woods, you see Charlemagne, followed by Recon, Bobcast and Daz. They're all crouched walking sideways like crabs toward you. You scream in horror as Charlemagne grabs you and points you in the direction of one more fifth member of their group. Again, you try to scream, but upon seeing this fifth member you no longer can. It's Achronos. The chanting continues around you. You meet the gaze of Achronos and you feel your brain begin to melt, he reaches out and grabs your tongue, pulling out and bring all of your organs with, effectively turning you inside out. You're laying on the ground now, a heaping mess of flesh and blood, yet you're still alive. Charlemagne looks at Achronos and says, "What should we call this one, master?" Achronos laughs a mighty and haunting laugh and says, "We'll call this one...Cozmo."
[spoiler]shiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashiashia[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyI was expecting LaBeouf, but instead I'm in Shia Surprise.
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1 ReplyThis is literally what was going on in my head as I read this.
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1 ReplyВлівр вводу
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4 RepliesI love these things. Good work
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2 RepliesThe title of this reminded me of the shia lebouf song
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1 ReplyWatwatwat
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1 ReplyI'll have what [b][i]he's[/i][/b] having.
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Edited by Spartan6056: 8/19/2015 8:52:27 PMExpects Shia Labeouf Is disappoint
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1 ReplyNo more mescaline jello for you.
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12 Replieswalkin down th street walkin down th street BOAm nokd th fuk out
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> expected Shia Leboughtahuhvdfg (no idea how to spell it) > was disappoint
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3 RepliesEdited by KPIO228: 8/18/2015 8:21:32 PMYou're walking in the woods There's no one around and your phone is dead Out of the corner of your eye you spot him: Shia LaBeouf. He's following you, about 30 feet back He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint He's gaining on you Shia LaBeouf You're looking for you car but you're all turned around He's almost upon you now and you can see there's blood on his face My God, there's blood everywhere! Running for you life (from Shia LaBeouf) He's brandishing a knife (It's Shia LaBeouf) Lurking in the shadows Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf) Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf) Eating all the bodies Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him but you're hopelessly lost yourself Stranded with a murderer you creep silently through the underbrush Aha! In the distance A small cottage with a light on Hope! You move stealthily toward it but your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap! Gnawing off your leg (Quiet, quiet) Limping to the cottage (Quiet, quiet) Now you're on the doorstep Sitting inside: Shia LaBeouf Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf) But he doesn't hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf) You're sneaking up behind him Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf Stab him in his kidney Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf You limp into the dark woods blood oozing from your stump leg But you have won; you have beaten Shia LaBeouf Wait! He isn't dead (Shia surprise) There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes But you can do Jiu Jitsu Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf You try to swing an axe at Shia Labeouf But blood is draining fast from your stump leg He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck You're chopping his head now You have just decapitated Shia Labeouf His head Topples to the floor, expressionless You fall to your knees and catch your breath You're finally safe from Shia Labeouf ... [spoiler]Expected Shia Was disappoint [/spoiler]
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1 Reply>came here expecting Shia >disappointed
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There's no-one around and your phone is dead.
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1 ReplyToppest -blam!-ing kek 9/11 OP
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2 RepliesOp posts a post called 'You're walking through the woods' Expected Shia Labeaf Am dissappoint
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1 ReplyAllmywut.jpg
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6 RepliesExpected Shia Lebouf Didn't Get Shia Lebouf I LIEK TURTLEZ!
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2 RepliesI was expecting Shia LaBeouf when I read title. I am disappointed.
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1 Reply
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2 RepliesSo that's how Cozmo came to be...
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Slender man ahhh
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Related [spoiler]There's no one around, And your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, Shia LaBeouf. He's following you About 30 feet back. He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. He's gaining on you. Shia LaBeouf. You're looking for your car, But you're all turned around. He's almost upon you now And you can see there's blood on his face! My god, there's blood everywhere! Running for your life (From Shia LaBeouf.) He's brandishing a knife. (It's Shia LaBeouf.) Lurking in the shadows Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf. Living in the woods, (Shia LaBeouf.) Killing for sport, (Shia LaBeouf.) Eating all the bodies Actual, cannibal Shia LaBeouf. Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him, But you're hopelessly lost yourself. Stranded with a murderer, You creep silently through the underbrush. A-ha! In the distance, A small cottage with a light on. Hope! You move stealthily toward it, But your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap! Gnawing off your leg, (Quiet, quiet.) Limping toward the cottage, (Quiet, quiet.) Now you're on the doorstep, Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf. Sharpening an ax, (Shia LaBeouf.) But he doesn't hear you enter, (Shia LaBeouf.) You're sneaking up behind him. Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf. Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf, Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf, Stab it in his kidney. Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf. You limp into the dark woods, Blood oozing from your stump leg. But you have won. You have beaten Shia LaBeouf Wait! He isn't dead! Shia Surprise! There's a gun to your head, and death in his eyes. But you can do Jiu Jitsu Body Slam superstar Shia LaBeouf Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf But blood is draining fast from your stump leg He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck You're chopping off his head now You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf His head topples to the floor, expressionless You fall to your knees and catch your breath You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf[/spoiler]
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Edited by Hydration-Gang: 8/18/2015 5:46:31 AMTl;dr sorry
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1 ReplyNeeds more Shia
