June 22, 2015 - Somewhere inside Bungie Headquarters, Bellevue, WA USA. We open up to chaos and war drums in what looks like a busy Monday at a stock market exchange...except we are in the offices of Bungie, the creators of the fabled Destiny game. Moments earlier a gaming website let loose a scathing interview between one of Bungies lead developers and an avid fan/journalist which has spread like wildfire in the Bungie fan forums. Having just had his lunch PR spokesperson/ Community Manager David Dague aka "Deej" walks into something out of a disaster film. Deej stares in bewilderment as the huge monitors overhead displaying the forums are set ablaze with angry people. Phones ring everywhere, meetings take place between angry office workers, people are yelling, suddenly a scream off in the distance [i]"oh the horror!"[/i]...but Deej isn't worried, he combs his fingers through his hair and thoughts begin to swirl inside his head... He makes his way to his office avoiding the chaos, finally arriving at his posh office. Memorabilia and mementos of days long past are neatly arranged throughout. He looks around, eyes landing directly on a thick black binder, just the thing he was looking for. He gets up, grabs it and stares at its title..."PR for Dummies" a quick grin passes across his stern face, he's read about this, this is his moment, it's happening. He sits in front of his work station and clicks through a few things on screen. He turns to his bible, fingers a blur looking for something and they find their mark as if by magic..."How to Quell a Blood Thirsty Mob". His eyes dart back and forth, the commotion is getting louder outside his office, he must work fast if he wants to put a cork on the situation. His eyes widen, he's found what he's looking for, immediately he becomes a maestro conducting a symphony, his fingers creating art. After a few minutes a sly crooked smile crosses his face, it's ready, he's done it! After a while he clicks a couple more things on screen, pauses and quickly scans his masterpiece for any errors. None, it's perfect and he sends his work of art free into the wilds...the dreaded Bungie forums. Now it's just a matter of waiting, content with himself, Deej powers off his computer and clasps his hands behind his head. He smiles, a wide grin, suddenly a knock on his door disturbs this happy moment. Luke Smith lead raid designer is standing there, looking pale, sickly. I don't know what to do man, I panicked, have you read it yet? Oh man, they're gonna skin me alive for this! he says. After a long hard pause Deej gets up, walks up to LS and grasps his shoulder as a father does a son in peril. Don't worry, I think I averted the problem, I think I might have outdone myself this time if I might say so. A confused look rolls over LS's face, but how he asks, it was a mad house in there last I checked. They want my head, I wouldn't be surprised if they have a noose ready for me, what did you do? Suddenly cheers erupt nearby, sounds of people hollering fill the hallways, two co-workers happily embrace and kiss...quietly LS asks one last time, Dauge what did you do? Deej pauses for a moment, looks around and let's in all the audible noises fill his mind, he'll relish this moment for a long time that's for sure. He looks back at LS and says to him, I told the Day Oner's that we would give them something better, something meaningful. His eyes waver for a split second, too quick for a lesser man to see...I made them a promise and bought us time until Thursday's weekly update. LS stumbles to his knees, thank god he says shakily, he forms the sign of the cross quickly before getting back on his feet. The ball is in your court now says Deej, what you do with it is up to you and the guys in marketing. LS quickly gives Deej a sappy hug while Deej just rolls his eyes and tells him to get going, that they don't have a lot of time. LS quickly scampers off to who knows what dark corners of Bungies impregnable fortress. Amidst all the laughter and celebration Deej stands alone, victorious...triumphant. Nobody does it better than he, for he is David Dague aka Deej and he has the worst job in America if not the world itself. He's been trained in the trenches, he's been to hell and back, this is his dominion! Happy with himself he skips down the hallway, rounds a corner and high fives a passing Bungienite. Under his breath he mutters, oh how I love Mondays... Hope you guys enjoyed this, I honestly don't know why I wrote it...I should go to sleep :/