JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
Edited by Jasondurgen: 6/7/2015 10:00:11 PM
2

The Ochman Hunt - Chapter 3

The Ochman Hunt Chapter 2 - https://www.bungie.net/ga/Forum/Post/119476274/0/0 --------------------------------------------------- [i]Chapter 3 -[/i] Serenity After a minute of flailing through the tube, I finally reached the end of the joyride. Once I fell out of the end, I was introduced to a large room filled with beds and what seemed to be other Guardians. But they weren't ordinary Guardians. They were much Darker, and drained of their Light. They had no Ghosts, like me, and no Light abilities, like me. They walked around almost like zombies, not really knowing where they're going or what they're doing. I stood up from the ground and began walking around the room, simply observing all of the room and the Guardians. Their appearance was pretty reflective to how long they've been here. The more beat down, evil-looking Guardians have been here the longest it seems. The ones who still don't really have a clue to what's going on, and look like the Light is almost completely drained from them haven't been here as long. And then there's me. The newbie. I eventually found an open bed for me to bunk in for however long this lasts. I wasn't going to try and talk to those people. They obviously have been knocked of the course of the Light, so talking to them might earn me a quick death during the night. Or maybe even a little extra, which I didn't want either. I took my armor off, seeing how it was torn to pieces, and placed my weapons on the ground next to the bed. At least the beds were furnished. I then sat back, rested my head on the blanket which spread across the bed, and slowly descended into sleep. So many thoughts were racing through my head. How long will I be here? What will happen to me? Will I become like these people? Will I be killed? What will the next arena challenge be? None of these questions mattered if I knew nothing of the place I was at. I could only sit back and wait for what fate had in store for me. I was awoken in the middle of the night by the sound of tampering. I recognized that sound anywhere. Somebody was fiddling with a weapon nearby. I leaned up to see where it was coming from when I saw a woman hunched over next to my bed on the floor, messing with my scout rifle. She didn't have any armor on, but she had a very beautiful, golden revolver in a holster on her thigh. As well as a very odd looking pulse rifle on her back, that had a skull at the end of the barrel with a strange green mist coming from the eyes. A strap extended from the gun around the front of her chest, keeping it held there. "Hey, get off of my gun!" I sprung up and tried to push her away and grab my gun but she kicked my legs out from under me and jumped on top of me to put a knife to my throat when I hit the ground. She was definitely a Hunter. She didn't seem to be that old. She appeared to be in her late twenties, and certainly was a looker. "Take it easy there, little lady. I just want my gun and nothing more." I said. "Chill out. I'm fixing your rifle for you. It's in horrible condition, and almost got you killed out there today." said the Hunter. "Is this how you greet everybody you meet, Warlock?" She then rolled off of me and placed her knife back in its sheathe on her belt. I stood to a sitting position and looked at her while she handed me my scout rifle. "I should be asking you the same thing, Hunter. That's quite a 'hello' you got there." I said sarcastically. "You can never be too careful in this place." she said while standing up, fixing her rugged outfit. "These other Guardians aren't right in the head. They're... different. Not themselves anymore." I stood up and placed my scout rifle on my bed, taking a seat next to it. "I'm Serenity, by the way." said the Hunter. "I'm Nexivelus, but you can just call me Nex since my name is a mouthful to say." Serenity gave an innocent chuckle and said "Yeah, I'll say. Nex it is. Nice to meet ya, Nex." "Likewise." I said, reaching for my sniper on the ground to examine it as well. There was a brief moment of silence. Guardians were walking up and down the halls in a kind of trance, not really paying much attention to anything. Some were sleeping. Serenity took a seat on the bed next to mine and watched me mess with my sniper. "So, how long have you been here, Nex? she asked. "To tell you the truth, I have no idea. I just remember-" I started to say what happened when I woke up, when Serenity began saying be exact same thing with me, as if it happened to her. "-waking up in a box and not knowing where in the hell I was at." We both gave a laugh for a moment. "Yep, everyone has that same experience when they wake up. It's really strange." said Serenity. I felt more squirming in my chest, still unsure of what it is. "God, do you get this feeling in your chest as well? Like something's crawling in it?" I asked. "Yeah, don't worry about it. That'll pass. That's just an effect from that weird black liquid that we usually spit out after waking up. I have no clue what it does." For once since I woke up, I had a sense security and peace in this place. I finally found someone with some sense left in her. But that feeling soon faded, because as soon I was about to say something, the giant tube came up from the ground and sucked her right into it. "Serenity!" I screamed, while the tube retracted back into the ground, carrying her with it. Suddenly, the wall panels behind my bed opened up and revealed many small monitors along the entire length of the room showing video feed of the arena. While watching it, I could see the tube swaying through the air, and hear the crowd cheering. All of the Guardians in the room walked over to a monitor and began watching as well. The tube opened up at the end and Serenity fell out and hit the ground. "Hey, hey! It's everyone's favorite Hunter. How ya doin', Asshole? Ready for yer next challenge?" spoke the man on the intercom. "Bring it on, you piece of shit. Maybe this time it'll actually be challenging." responded Serenity. "I'm glad you feel that way. Because I have a special surprise for you." A box flew down to her location from the top of the arena and landed in front of her, popping open and revealing ammo for her weapons. Then, two gates opened up at the far end of the arena, from which two giant Hive Ogres walked out. "Freaks, and Freakshows... [i]and[/i] the Asshole in the arena, I give you the Rune and Rone brothers!" The crowd roared with excitement, while the Ogre's roared themselves, shooting their eye blast in the air in rage. Serenity reached back to grab her pulse rifle, readied it, and charged straight for them. -----Chapter 4 https://www.bungie.net/ga/Forum/Post/127924924/0/0

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

View Entire Topic
  • Edited by Onyx076: 6/7/2015 5:50:45 PM
    I can't even take this right now. You kill me. [quote]She appeared to be in here late twenties, and certainly was a looker.[/quote] Calling her a "looker"? What are you, like, 70 years old? Old people say stuff like that. I missed your work and the little phrases and odd words you throw in there. It's great. One little grammatical issue though. [quote]"It's really strange." said Serenity.[/quote] Whenever you write dialogue and you use a word or word phrase that indicates the character has spoken or is about to speak, it is followed by (or preceded depending on your sentence structure) a comma. For instance, the above example. Instead of the period after the word "strange" it would be a comma. [i]"It's really strange," said Serenity.[/i] Or you could write it as: [i]Then, Serenity said, "It's really strange."[/i] Said, saying, says, spoke, replied, responded, etc., are all followed by or preceded by a comma in place of the period. But, if it's an action or something other than a word or phrase that indicates the person has just spoke or is about to speak then it's a period. [i]"Look, I don't really care what other people thnk of me. The only thing I care about is making it out of here alive." The barrel of Serenity's gun glistened in the light of the barracks as she checked her load out.[/i] Anyway, I am on to chapter 4! :-D Edit: Be sure to provide the link to the next chapter at the bottom of each chapter. It'll make it a lot easier for people to navigate through.

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

    1 Reply
    You are not allowed to view this content.
    ;
    preload icon
    preload icon
    preload icon