I've never served in the military but I have a crazy collection of military jokes. These are two of my favorites: So an Army Ranger decides he wants to see how Recon Marines train so he goes to check it out for a few days. Well at the end of the training they go on a full gear march. Well they are marching along when finally the Gunny calls for a rest. While they are resting the Gunny walks over to an oak tree whips his little general out and whacks it against tree then calls for a resume. This happens a few more times and finally the Ranger asks, "Gunny what is up with that?" The Gunny replies, " It makes you last longer, go stronger and the ladies love it." Well the Ranger has some leave coming up and a hot wife so he goes home and remembers the Gunny's advice. Not having a tree handy he whips it out and bangs it against the door a few times. From inside the house he hears his wife call out," Gunny is that you?" Now for all former Army a little bit of a leveler. So little Johnny is visiting DC for the first time. He's using the restroom when in walks a Marine in his class A looking sharp and squared away. Little Johnny is awestruck and says, " Wow are you a real live Marine?" The Marine says" Yes son I am. Do you want to wear my cover?" Well little Johnny is thrilled and he pits on the hat and starts marching around. About this time an 82nd Airborne trooper walks in. Little Johnny is amazed." Wow are you a real live 82nd Airborne trooper?" He asks. The trooper replies," Yes I am. Do you want to suck my dick?" Little Johnny says, "Oh I'm not a Marine. I'm just wearing his hat."