Not my best, but the only one I can think of right now: So there were 4 men flying in a plane over the ocean and it went down (must have been a Malaysia Airlines flight). Luckily they crashed near an island and they swam ashore. As the 4 men were recovering on the beach a war party of the island's natives came upon them carrying spears and bows. The natives told the men "Do as we say and we won't kill you. Now each of you go into the jungle and bring us some fruit." The task was easy enough so the 4 men went into the jungle. Soon the first man came out carrying an apple. He gave it to the natives and they told him, "Stick that whole fruit into your ass and we'll let you live in our village and marry one of our women, fail and we'll cut off your head." Left with no choice the first man tried to stick the apple up his ass, but he couldn't do it so they chopped off his head. After a short while the second man emerged carrying a banana, The natives told him the same thing, but try as he might he couldn't get the last bit of stem up his ass so they chopped off his head. At last the third man came out of the jungle carrying just a handful of berries. He was told to stick them up his ass too, so he sat down and started popping them in one at a time. He had only one more to go when suddenly he laughed and all the berries came flying out of his ass, leading the natives to chop off his head. Now in the afterlife the 3 dead men reunite and one of them asks the third man, "You almost made it. You had just one more berry to put up your ass, why did you laugh?" and the third man replied: "I saw Jerry walk out of the jungle carrying a -blam!-ing pineapple."