Talk to both. Have your doctor recommend good therapists. Get on meds. There are nothing wrong with antidepressants, and it might just take the edge off and give you a little breathing room. They helped get me stable. They can help you. Remember Robin Williams? How happy he made the world? He didn't think he did, because of his depression. He thought he was a worthless failure. Sadly, he never saw how distraught the world was when news came of his death. That will be the same case for you if you died. People care. It may not be a lot, but it's enough to keep going.