Tear a tag off a matress. Proceed to put the tag in a bowl of milk, THEN add cereal. Preferably a nasty off brand abomination. Throw bowl, along with its contents, into your neighbor's washing machine. While you're there, steal all his air conditioners. Go back home, and begin repeatedly stabbing the box with a pillow, with audio from crappy Minecraft YouTube videos blaring in the background. At this point, the box should be on the verge of insanity. This is where your neighbor's air conditions come in. Sell them on eBay, and use the 4 dollars and 20 cents you get to go on a luxury cruise. Bring the box with you. Apologize to it, befriend it. Soon enough, you'll be best friends. When you get home, you'll let the box move in with you. Eventually you nickname it Jank. You do everything together, and you both live happily for many years. But then, one day, there's a knock on the door. It's the local drug gang. Threateningly slinging a giant pickle around, they state that They're looking for a box, a box who ratted them out the the authorities years ago. Of course you lie and say you have no idea what they're talking about, but Jank decides right at that moment to head to the kitchen to make a sandwhich, completely in view of the gangsters. They shove past you, grab the box, and run off, but not before knocking you out with the pickle. When you come to, you call up your one other friend and you discuss a plan to raid the gang's headquarters. Jank is bound to be there. [spoiler]I'm writing this tutorial in class, so I must stop here. I'll probably continue it later. Git gud. [/spoiler]