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originally posted in: Are you happy with life right now?
Edited by Spyro: 4/2/2015 9:45:58 PM
3
[u]A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...[/u] There was once a wookie that lived on the planet Kashyyyk. This wookies name was... well... Wookie. His parents were lazy and careless of his name. While walking through the national park of the great Space Whale, he saw something blue in the distance. It was making some sort of strange sound. As if it was having an orgasm, but it didn't look like it stood on two legs. Wookie walked towards the large figure. After turning around the corner of a tree, he saw it. It was the legendary Space Whale. The Space Whale said to Wookie, "Look into my eyes and you shall have greatness." Wookie, not giving a -blam!-, looked into the Space Whale's eyes and his vision began to get distorted. After about a minute of starring, Wookie passes out. He later awakens to see that he is not on Kashyyyk anymore. He realizes this by looking into the night sky and seeing a moon that is very different from his. He is now on a different world. Wookie looks into the distance and sees a castle with lights on it. He realizes that someone must be in it. He might be able to find help. A few hours has passed from hiking towards the castle. He finally arrives there and sees that the lights are now off. He sees mold next to the door in a rectangle shape. It looked as if there was once a sign there. Wookie, now feeling that he has no other place to go since he can't see anything for miles except for the castle he is next to, now enters the castle. He walks into a great hall of decorated knight armor with webs on it. Wookie is now feeling anxious. He continues to walk faster until he ends up in a library. He walks around the room until he finds a large desk at the center of the room. It has decorated bronze along the corners of it, as if it was some sort of masters desk. He sees something on the desk. He walks up to it to find a sign. He lifts it up and it reads, "Castle of DeeJ." Wookie moves his right elbow and knocks over a chalice, making a big noise. He puts the sign back down on the desk. He hears something enter the room. It speaks in an old mans voice, "Helloooooo! Is that a potential sexual partner that I hear?." Wookie now runs for his life. He ends up in the master bedroom and locks the door. There is now slamming at the door and Wookie runs to the window. He sees that the bottom floor is now five stories down. Feeling hopeless, Wookie now walks backwards slowly towards a wall while DeeJ starts to break his way in. Wookie's back hits the wall and the wall turns at 180 degrees, bringing Wookie into a small room. DeeJ now breaks in the room and turns anxious because he doesn't see Wookie in his room. Wookie sees a wall of bags of crack. Thinking that this is some sort of magic powder, he takes as many as he can and fit it in the pouch that he brought with him. DeeJ now realizes that Wookie is hiding in his secret stash. DeeJ says, "I know you're in there,", DeeJ now unbuckles his belt, "now it is time for you to come out and satisfy me!" Wookie hears an aggressive beating outside. Now fearing that this is the end, Wookie looks up to the ceiling and smiles because he knows that he lived a life of adventure and that all heroes must fall at some point. Wookie now prepares himself for the worst. The door now opens. Wookie slowly opens his eyes and sees a wizard standing next to DeeJ, who is laying on the floor unconscious with his pants down. Wookie is now relieved because he is saved. The wizard has a beard so long and shaggy that it touches the floor. The wizard says, "I am Recon Number 54. How can I help you little one?" Wookie guides the wizard to the window and points to a dark patch of the sky. It takes a minute for the wizard to realize that Wookie needs to go back home to a galaxy. Recon now says, "I can help you, but I am missing an ingredient in my potion that can bring you back there." The wizard looks over his right shoulder and sees the room of crack. "That's it!", the wizard shouts, "That is the secret ingredient!" Recon grabs a bag of crack and begins making a potion. After mixing 54 ingredients, including the bag of crack, Recon says, "Here is a cup of my potion. Drink it and you shall return to your place." Wookie drinks the potion and his eyes and mouth open wide of how energetic he has become of the crack. Wookie awakens in his house relieved that it is all over. He remembers the rush that he had from drinking the crack. He opens his pouch and sees all the bags of crack inside. Wookie hears a voice in the back of his head saying, "Look into my eyes and you shall have greatness." Wookie now prepares himself for a night of crack. But he was not called Wookie anymore, his name now was WOOKIE ON CRACK. After a year has passed, WOOKIE ON CRACK scrolls around b.net to tell his buddies if they are happy with their life. He asks this because the worst has happened to him...he ran out of crack.
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