I count using the metric system but then I lose count after 0 and said dude -blam!- math and use all my explosives. It still doesn't open so I'm like what the fūçk and I open a portal to another dimension pulling the top open but then a person from the other dimension pulls it down and I grab him by the shoulder and tell him "you better fūçking open it back you asswipe" then he tells me in his tongue "can't you just open it with your own hands?" And I retorted with "this one dude wants me to do it in the most creative way possible" "OH okay well still not helping " and he leaves while I tell him " NO come back (pause)" and the story ends with me not opening the fūçking box.