-
Edited by Psy: 4/26/2014 6:18:47 PMStory Section - 3 Story #7 [spoiler]In short, I was brought up to be Homophobic in every aspect. Anything remotely homosexual was frowned upon and anyone who had feelings for the same sex were f%#cked up/wrong/sick, etc. As I grew older, I started hating myself as I realized that I'm Bisexual. Well, for a long time it was denial. How could I be that messed up? How could I be one of those freaks? So I got pretty depressed. Attempted suicide a couple of times but couldn't pull it off. In short, I ended up falling in love and realized that the world wasn't as dark as it seemed. Then I came to terms with who I am a few months later and am probably only alive because of that girl I fell for.[/spoiler] Story #8 [spoiler]This is my depression story So about two years a friend of mine started dating this girl. When he first introduced me to her I remember thinking how beautiful she was. I didn't think much about her over the summer but when we got back to school I started getting to know her better and I loved everything about her. We would chat all the time on facebook, we'd help each other out with our problems and also have great laughs. We had so much in common. It wasn't long before I realised I was in love, but of course I couldn't do anything about it. At first I just felt a little bummed seeing them together but it got worse gradually. One time I just randomly broke down in front of all my friends and I was so embarrassed. That night I self harmed. I don't know why I fell for her so badly but I was so madly, desperately in love that I decided I couldn't take this any more. In January last year I ran away from home to a bridge and considered jumping. Obviously I couldn't so I returned home to find the police waiting for me. I was put onto a government list of young people at risk to themselves. A couple of months later I was brought down severely again when I accidentally let something personal about her slip. I told her out of guilt but I realised she didn't trust me any more and that night I cried myself to sleep. In March she started trying to distance herself from me and it was noticeable. I confronted her but she denied it, but I knew she was and I didn't know why, but it hurt so much as despite being the bane of my life she was also the only thing I had. We had a huge fight that ended with her telling me to get the -blam!- away from her so I did. A few weeks past and I started harbouring resentment and hatred for her, as I felt she has been really nasty to me. She broke up with my friend in April. Over the next 3 months I distanced from that friend and made new friends... ...only for her to start dating one of my new friends. I was so angry and hurt as I thought I had finally gotten rid of her but now she was coming back into my life. She kept trying to make up with me but I blanked her and intended to keep it that way, but in August she finally got through to me and we talked it out. So a week later that friend had a party and he was making out with her the whole time, which destroyed me as all my feelings for her came flooding back. I never stopped having feelings for her despite dating another girl briefly in November. So time passed, I fell out with her a lot but we were still friends but I was still madly in love with her. These feelings were emphasised as I fell out with her bf in January and my anger towards him created more jealousy and I felt for her even more. I tried to move school and also tried to kill myself again. Then out of the blue she started being nasty to me again, calling me names and making fun of me for having feelings for her, then she got her friend to send me more abuse over facebook. However soon she started trying to get back in touch with me and I knew now she was messing me around so I cut her, her bf and her friends out of my life and I am now happier. [/spoiler] Story #9 [Spoiler] My family moved around a lot. I always knew that any friends I made would have to be left, so I didn't bother. But we had a dog, and I got really attached to him. I never thought about death or the fact that I would outlive him. In hindsight I realize that getting that attached was a terrible idea. He began to get old. started forgetting that he could back up, so we always had to help him out of corners. He had a stroke, so we decided to put him down. I was the only one who had him as an only friend. I couldn't stop crying. Sometimes I still cry. I started eating a lot. Put on a lot of weight. Broke down daily. It was like that until very recently. I blamed myself. I thought that there had to have been something I could do to save him. I self harmed because of it. Whenever i was alone I would hit my head. I don't even know why I chose that. I probably gave myself multiple concussions, but never went to a doctor for it. I couldn't let anybody know. To everyone else it seemed like nothing had changed. they eventually began to notice me being angrier though. I get violently angry fast. I started a habit of chewing on my lip because it hurt and it made me bleed. I thought about suicide daily. I would scratch myself with my pocket knife, just to see how easy it was. I wouldn't draw blood because I was scared. Eventually my cousin died in a car crash. that made things even worse. I once again thought that if I had done something different or better she would have survived. She was in a different state, but I wasn't thinking about that. I began to hate myself. Every part of myself. My family got close to another family. I became friends one of them. His sister was very young, but got cancer. It was kind of worrying, but he got better. But then it came back. She died, and I blamed myself. Then nothing changed for a long time. Daily thoughts of how much happier others would be if I died. It was terrible. I eventually was ready. i wasn't even going to bother with a note, just do it and be done. I was just about to do it, when i just collapsed. I started crying, couldn't move at all. Nothing hurt anymore. I had dropped the knife and was just lying there. There was no cut on me. I couldn't figure out why nothing hurt anymore. I have to go. I'll finish it later. I couldn't figure out why nothing hurt anymore. I couldn't figure out why I was happy. I was supposed to be sad. I was a coward. I couldn't do it. But I no longer wanted to. I couldn't move at all for an hour. I could just breath. i started laughing. I couldn't help it. I was so happy without even having a reason. It hasn't been a whole year since then yet. I'm still not completely happy, but i don't blame myself. None of my friends have been able to match my dog, but I realize that I can't bring him back.[/spoiler]