Fluke Episode 9: The Helpful Bunch

minor spelling errors (but better than my rough drafts) also i dont get this line "His followers had disbanded and [i]fed the scene defeated[/i]." Other than that my only criticism is what i think is some awkward phrasing. Such as "you advance another" not really sure how to rephrase that, just dont like it "carefully dodged more" change more to many "space was narrowing " I just hate the word narrowing, I would replace it with disappearing, but that is personal "The unfortunate happened when a" just sounds awkward as an introduction, Would replace it with just unfortunately, or inevitably. "He tackled the assailant down to the ground and held them" Tackled down sounds awkward to me, would take out down. Also he is only holding one person so it should be singular, but them is plural. "rich business man's" 's isnt needed (im sorry but plurality bugs me.) But yeah, those are the only errors i see. The plot is humorous, and i appreciate your uses of exceptionally descriptive words to enhance the story.

Alton left the building tired and stumped, he was itching for a break. The archaic clock tower in the district stuck a quarter till three and the lunch rush had settled down significantly. The streets were still flooded with patrons but there was more leg room this time around than hours earlier. Alton began a short walk to the nearest food vender and luckily for him, a surrounding crowd was distanced from the stand. He saw two people fleeing the scene and a few security drones stood watch over the area in question. Once he pushed his way to front of the crowd, the confusion became clear. A woman was lying on the ground with a small gash on her forehead. She kept pointing past the group and out into the sunny streets. Alton went up beside her as she started to talk. "My...purse. They...a guardian went...after. That way." she spoke before the drones pulled Alton away. "I'll get your purse back, just hold tight." Alton dashed off and phased through the disbanding crowd. He could see two figures pushing their way through another crowd, their attire made them just noticeable enough to stand out in. He zipped around a corner and ran through the least populated alleyway. The feet of a determined Warlock bounced around the cramped walkway like fireworks. The timing couldn't have been more perfect as the Warlock dove right into the first figure to appear at the end of the alley. He tackled the assailant and held the person down with his hands on their shoulders and his legs on top of of their legs. "I've caught you now, hand over the purse you stole." No one seemed to notice once the Warlock got a good look at the purse thief, but a tide of embarrassment swept over him once be recognized the person. She stared up at him with a face that swiped the day's steady mood, she looked as though she had just given up to someone who was ready to do explicit things. She opened her eyes and saw the blushing Warlock staring back at her in the same manner. Alton prepared himself mental and physically for the pain that would ensue. "Again!? You...Sick Animal! Get off me!" the voice instantly clicked along with the sour taste of failure. The punch collided with Alton's chin like a wrecking ball to a wall. The force lifted him off the ground and sent him up into the air for a couple seconds. Crashing down to earth might have been the least of his worries, the crud Warlock scooped the semiconscious Alton up and gave him the meanest death glare know to mortal man. "Give me a reason to turn you in for assault." "Ah, you two must be the ones cleaning the bathroom today. Right on time." the guardians turned towards a man who stood at the doorway of a large building. He wore the cloths of rich business man who has seen countless success in wealth. He mirrored the same tone. "Come, come inside and we will get started." "Wait wait, I'm not supposed to be here. I have other priorities to attend to." Penelope whined desperately, the man's grip was strong than her will to escape. Alton followed behind them with light snickers filling his steps with enjoyment. The building was nothing more than a simple office building, but there was more to its location and function within the city streets. The stairs out front were elegantly designed with the best rocky materials around, two legendary creatures of old fables stood guard with eyes as shape as the unbreakable stone used to structure them. The grand pillars outside reflected the influence of a once mighty empire. What was best left under wraps was much more sophisticated than the exterior of the building. The main reception room was massive in size and in value, easily one the most expensive in the City in terms of possessions. The first few floors were visible with important members of private sectors traversing to the nearest elevator and meeting rooms. The cream colored walls fleshed out a bright image of a chaotic calmness that could only be felt when battling behind breathtaking landscapes. Alton took note the pairs of Titans who glared back at him as he followed alongside Penelope. The three stopped in front of a secluded room close to the restrooms. Two men came out of the respective bathroom while the guardian's guide handed them a clean cloth and an old world plunging tool. Penelope looked disgusted by the man's offer. Who would volunteer to do something so.....degrading?" Penelope shockingly asked the man. He pushed the cleaning items onto the guardians, they caught them despite instant rejection. "Just the bathroom, right?" Alton pitched another question. The man's expression was comical. "What kind of business do think we run here? We are a management firm that specializes in working closely with the Council. Can't work with large sums of glimmer knowing that the bathrooms are not up to the highest standards." "Look, I don't have neither the time nor the patience to be doing a lowlife's job. Do you even know who I am?" Penelope fought back but her argument was useless in the eyes of the corporate giant. "No, but guardians such as yourselves should be busy protecting our interest out there. Might as well have them doing something instead of nothing." "You are lucky I choose today to volunteer, but I am just as busy as she is." Alton pointed to the steamed Penelope. "Well, let's just say that this is a pit stop. Besides, the faster you clean the bathrooms on every floor, the faster you can get back to do whatever you soldiers do on busy days like these. Honestly, you have no idea how we provide-" "Every.....floor?" the female Warlock lost her breath in the man's job description. She was ready to teach this man a lesson, but Alton refrained her from taking such action. "You soldiers and your dry humor. We have people who slave away at cleaning the bathrooms." the man directed the guardians into a dark room and down a ladder that lead into a hidden area underneath the building. Once the pair reached the bottom, the man quickly climbed back up and hid behind the door they came in from. "Your job is to figure out what is wrong with the plumbing and fix it. Good luck and thanks again for your generous service. Remember that time is glimmer, so do it cheaply and quickly." The door above them closed with a loud slam, leaving the two guardains to face the oncoming smell of sewage and waste. The area was actually a part of underground sewer system, one of the many first achievements during the construction of mankind's last stronghold. Many of the older systems remained in a decent condition even after all the years of decay during the Collapse. This building's system was divided into waterways that ultimately connected to the main system, which then drained out into a disclosed location. Rumors have spread around between the townspeople accusing the FOTC and even the Council that they plan to drive away mankind's threats using the collective waste from the sewers. One legend has survived throughout the decades of unrest and has even made its way back into the minds of folk tellers and young children. Using the Traveler's powers, Alton illuminated the dark tunnel and took lead when Penelope refused to. She followed close behind him with a stuttering arm warped tightly around his own, her bitter mumbles represented her disproval. The rushing water was a soothing sound to hear, but thinking about what was mixed in it only made the experience more nauseating. Their footsteps were very frequent because the walkways gave little leg room, Alton was even lucky enough to catch Penelope from falling into the filth several times. "Seems we've reach the far side of the building. Now we just have to search the other end and we can leave." Peneople was much more calm about the situation than before, that was a good sign in Alton's eyes. She was finally accepting the notions that a fool's fate wanted to punish her in some way. "Can I ask you a question?" Alton asked. "Shoot, Warlock." Penelope responded. "Why are you still here? I bet you could have easily ditched me before coming down here." Alton questioned as they turned around. "Hard to say. Even though I'm stuck down here because of your actions, the humiliation of you cleaning sewers is enough punishment for what you did." she snickered at her answer. "But you're down here too?" "Yes I am. Damn business tycoons." she rolled her eyes while letting loose a sigh. As they returned to the place where the rusty ladder marked the half way point, a sudden rumbling startled the guardians. Alton lost his footing and slipped on a puddle of sewage water. Penelope couldn't break off from him fast enough and the two made a large splash once they fell into the water. Alton held his breath when an incoming rush of fluids attacked his face. The bottom was shorter than he expected so naturally, Alton stood there watching Penelope squirm like a child. The female guardian touched the ground with her soggy boots, her long blond hair along with her whole outfit was soaked in grimy waste. "Agggghhhh!" her yell rocked the tunnels, even the waters hushed at her aggressive tone. "I'm done with this! Ugghh!" "But wai-" [b]More shenanigans ensue below[/b]