originally posted in:The Black Garden
The outpost, now lifeless and sand-coated, left a stench of death on the Huntress' cloak. The Huntress bent down and felt the sand. It was hard and clumpy. The sand has been here long, she thought. A loud screech came from behind. Startled, the Huntress turned around with her hand on her pistol. Unable to locate the source of the noise, she slipped her hand off of her pistol and onto her side. She noticed something in the sand just outside of the outpost. She slowly walked towards the object, careful to make as little noise as possible. She bent down and picked up the object. It was a helmet, one belonging to a Titan. The helmet was coated with sand and loaded with scratches and cracks. She set the helmet down on the ground, leaving it out of the sand. The silence of the dead air was driving her crazy. She knew something was here, but what? She hoped it was another Guardian, perhaps a Titan. She could really use one of those. She heard the screech again. She whipped out her pistol and aimed at the source of the scream. It wasn’t human. She slowly began moving towards the alleyway, frightened to near insanity. She peeked down the alley. There was nothing. Still wielding her pistol, she walked down the alleyway. She got on one wall and turned the corner. Still nothing. She looked in the other direction. Nothing. She decided to return to the outpost, hoping it was a relatively safe place to stay for the night. Mars was dangerous at night, and she wasn’t about to go out into the wilderness alone. She heard the screech once more. She walked out of the outpost quietly. This time, she felt a sharp metal enter her skin.
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I like how you built up so much suspense, I kept reading and thinking, "Oh god, she's gonna die, don't turn around come on!"
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Thanks, that was my intent with the story!
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Darla! NOOOOOOO!
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i vote for this (if i can vote) as one of the seven finalists.
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Liking the post moves it further up, although I don't know if that has any effect on the winner. I'm the third from the top as of now, though!
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Very nice, very nice
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Thanks for the feedback! I was worried about the entry, since I've never played the actual game. I thought my story wouldn't match others' view of the game.
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our first entry! an excellent piece! I expect to see more!
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Thanks! Surprised to see I'm the first entry. Must've gotten to the Mail Sack pretty early.