My character

Sooo I don't EVER write, but this game has completely sparked my imagination!! So I wrote a dossier and short bio for my character. Constructive criticism is much appreciated!! Name: Asbjorn Néel DoB: N/A Race: Human Class: Titan Unit: 22nd Guardian Rangers Rank: Captain(Leader) Height: 6'1" Weight: 210 lbs. Eyes: Blue Hair: Brown Bio: Nobody knows when or where Asbjorn was born, all we know was that his mother, Runa Néel died in child birth, and his father, Arnbjorn Néel, raised him as an infant. His mothers occupation was unknown, but his father however, was a legend. Natural leader, and a natural fighter. He was a Hunter class Guardian, and had over 200 confirmed kills from over 700 meters, he taught Asbjorn everything he knew, until one day, when Asbjorn was only a child, he witnessed his father get brutally murdered by an unknown group of The Fallen. Asbjorn was then taken in by his uncle, Freios Néel, who was a Titan Class Guardian, continued to teach him, but as a Titan. With the combined training, Asbjorn became a deadly warrior. However; the day before Asbjorn became a full fledged Guardian, Freios was assassinated by the same group of The Fallen who had brutally murdered Asbjorns father those many years ago. Asbjorn has not been the same since, every time he fights a platoon of The Fallen, his vision reddens with anger. Though his strength and endurance increases when he has these "moments", his judgement decreases, he has been known to get his entire squad killed, and often, he has almost gotten himself killed, which explains his many scars, but he seems to pull through each time. We have put him through many counseling sessions, and has only recently started to be able control these "moments". Because he is recovering, we have decided to put him in charge of the 22nd Guardian Ranger Division, he has done exceptionally well in this position, and so far, we haven't lost any men under his command. We have plenty more in store for him...