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originally posted in:The Black Garden
Edited by Falderal: 5/15/2013 11:51:10 PM
12

One Day

Note: the drafts are what they suggest, each one includes various changes, most noticeably more has been written, but thier has also been corrections and other things added, changed, or deleted. I know this may seem confusing but it saves space and does not clutter up the forums as much. Read the last draft first. Also if you read, please tell me if you have any suggestions or think it is good as it is, right now what i have written is either perfect, or no one has read it. [url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XuOrVDQrzC9jnL-TP5fUZs-B2YR9yzpGzK92i-SKIMU/edit]Draft 1[/url] [url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/16ioS5WpMBw59B7aIOzdU1dFC5GC8tzz8DzovGKCtl9U/edit]Draft 2[/url] [url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wCqGINa9a2myh_8rxzcHG20JlBIWbGoKWT8VJsWe27I/edit]Draft 3[/url] [url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/1T86zcns3ChSel5Gfww3axxd67HnTQXlkv3yLTbpf0PA/edit]Draft 4[/url] [url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ztKyktrbwz1Hoz6CxiIuKdzc_erAN8q7ICa9awM66J4/edit]Draft 5[/url] [url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hEsFcDd3_rEDEay5yJc6OVDGFK8pastXkm0za4BnTvU/edit]Draft 6[/url] [url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/15q3jE1ml48WmbpOq2Ca9rAxZMPXCuA2_I_KEc9iyVy8/edit]Draft 7[/url] (note:Nepenthe message me) [url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G7qXJIiVZnJAriVxJ19EJJOWj0RKkldQVuMxCN5UGAg/edit]Draft 8[/url] [url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cln4qKw747c_ukH5Nz4TvMiAvHlWjqhSt_DMhjaj51Q/edit]Draft 9[/url] A story i decided to start on, this is part one. i am looking forward to any suggestions, i am hopping that his can be kind of a collaboration. And am looking for others who would be willing to be part of this story, and possibly write some of it. If you want to be part of this story, please provide a sort of form type thing for they are interstitial in the next part of the story ex. [spoiler] Malak Nihilo Corporation: Dead Orbit Callsign: Messenger Race: Awoken Sex: Male Class: Hunter Roles: Test Pilot, Pilot, Driver, Recon AutoBio: When things started falling around me, I thought I could escape it, I thought if I left this world for a while, when I came back. Everything would be all right. So with what little money I had, I bought a ship and went into the void, to sleep, to think, to ponder. After an expanse of time I returned, only to find nothing had changed. Maybe it was the futility of the situation, or the years of meditating with nothing more than my thoughts, but I realized something. You can’t outrun destiny, you can only try to stall it. So I decided to join the guardians, see how long I could stall my inevitable destiny, the price that we all must pay. Being the pilot I have always gotten out, if for only the reason that if I don't get out, no one else can get us out. And that luxury of being "valued" has shown me many things. But I can do nothing about it, for what I think does not matter. I am but a tool in the relentless games of others. But I am a happy tool, and that is all I can ask. Psych Profile: Deep thinker, sometimes too deep. Does not hesitate to question orders. Excellent Pilot in the sky and on land, sharp eye. Excels at hotdrops. Ground combat skills minimal, on foot operates best as recon, in positions that will experience minimal fire. Tends to avoid ground combat as much as possible, good trait for forward recon. [/spoiler] (note it is put as a spoiler since it is kind of long) if you have done so, you will be in the story (dont worry, your characters wont be hurt unless you make that happen yourself) You can than start typing it up from your P.O.V., just please make it align with the other stories, otherwise it may be edited Thank you for your time, and i look forward to your sugestions.

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  • yeah, i am going to shelf this for know, i am working on some other stories and they are going much better. Also, this doesnt seem to be getting any readers.

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  • Edited by Falderal: 5/15/2013 11:53:47 PM
    Draft 9 up added story, changed the fonts and messed around with the intro. Any Critisim would be appreciated.

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  • Draft 8 Up, newly edited by Darkbandit1 with a bit of story added, any suggestions would be appreciated.

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  • Draft 7, any criticism is appreciated.

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  • Draft 6 is up, if anyone has any sugestions please let me know, otherwise i seem to be doing this perfectly

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  • Draft 5 is up, mainly just playing around with the words but a bit of story was added

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  • Edited by Falderal: 4/27/2013 1:27:59 AM
    part 4 up, or update 4

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    • Actually managed to do a bit more today, room for one more character in this mission

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    • Draft 2 up, today is the last day if you want to have your character in the story

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    • Edited by GamerPete: 4/25/2013 9:40:30 PM
      Hmm, looks like fun. [spoiler]Iven Harahd Corporation: 7 Seraphs Callsign: Wanderer Race: Exo Sex: Male Class: Warlock Roles: Explorer, Fire Support, Artillery AutoBio: When I was a child, my father taught me that the most important thing I could do was uphold the duty given to me. I believed him. I wanted to make him proud, so I joined the military as he had done. That led to the accident. The accident led to my transformation into an Exo. Yet still, I joined and did my duty. I bound myself to it as I rose to Lieutenant and joined Special Forces. Then came the mission to Mars... there I learned that duty and following orders were not always the same thing. The package myself and the only other survivor delivered earned me a way into the Guardians, where they found that I had the aptitude to be a Warlock. Ever since graduation I have been drifting, following orders and searching the wastes of the solar system, though I always tend to find my way back to the Last City, to my father's stern gaze and Maya's fiery temper. Psych Profile: Spends too much time in his own head. He is dutiful and driven, but paranoid about the motives of others, especially his superiors. Trust does not come easily, though he never attempts to take more than was promised. Prefers ground engagements, surprise attacks with overwhelming force. Has an interest in archaeology, leading to long sojourns in the system's more desolate sectors[/spoiler] I hope that's enough. If you're curious about the Mars incident: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xXQT1ax_9eRRKjniMBvdNMi73Qb3gslAEeR900tA1Vc/edit Other than that, I'm going to try and write something up later for this...

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      • Standard procedure. Every author gets one. Please place your story/stories here, or a copy of them: [url]https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0Bx6A6nnHUXJmT080MDdhSGlkNU0&usp=sharing&tid=0B2m5qHsRdFg9RjBnNzdoUG1uanc[/url] Your own folder. Be sure that share settings are to your liking.

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        • first, switch who can see it, Malak. Go to file, share, and make it so that any who has the link can see your doc.

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