originally posted in:The New Dojo
[spoiler]Yes, this could be considered "edgy". Oh well, not like he's constantly dealing with PTSD and brooding like some other people....[/spoiler]
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
In a corner of his room, Bedlam sat on the floor, bouncing a rubber ball against the wall and catching it. Instead of his normal classy attire, he wore a simple white-t and basketball shorts, obviously just dressed for comfort.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
The young man sat there with a blank expression, he didn't really look like his happy self, nor did he look angry, or sad, or anything. He looked like he was just there and alive, not feeling anything.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
From his eye a tear would fall, his expression still blank and his eyes glued to the ball as he kept bouncing it. Another tear would follow...and then another.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
He'd miss a catch, the ball rolling across his floor and out of reach. He just sighed and laid himself down on the ground he was already sitting on, gazing up at the ceiling. Bedlam then put a hand onto his chest...
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
He felt his heart beat, as if checking to see if he was alive before putting his hand down at his side. The cool air ran a chill through his body, so naturally he curled up a little to try and keep warm. The coolness wouldn't go away though, not the emptiness he felt. It would never pass.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
It would never fade.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
He'd forever feel this pain...this dull pain of not feeling anything. It contradicted itself, but...he didn't know how else to describe it. The idea that your emotions have just shut off and that you don't feel anything at all, it scared him. Bedlam blamed himself, for this must be his punishment for his past sins. This must be his personal hell.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
[i][b][u]Bum![/u][/b][/i]
Bum.
Bedlam sighed, not feeling any motivation to get up or do anything. He just wanted to lie here and just rest. He wanted to give up. He knew though, that people counted on him and that they'd just be hurt knowing about how he felt...or didn't feel. He knew that he just had to put on that fake smile and laugh for another day, for everyone else. If he couldn't feel happiness or love or joy, he thought of it as his life goal to make as many people as happy as he could. To give others what he couldn't give himself.
"Another day..."
Bedlam chuckled and grinned, getting up and changing himself into his normal attire with a simple thought before walking out of his room. He had put back on the mask, the mask he wore so much it would be impossible to tell if it was the real him or not...even he forgot at times.
[quote]===========Later at around noon in Dojoville==========[/quote]
In a circle sat a bunch of kids, Bedlam being the only adult in the group. They all had recorders, so everyone nearby had already ran away, knowing how terrible that noise would be. The kids were terrible at first, causing Bedlam to wince in physical pain from the horrible screeching coming from some of the kids. Eventually, after a lot of practice and guidance from Bedlam, the children were actually capable of playing a few Christmas songs for the holidays. Bedlam smiled at the kids, laughed with them, and congratulated them on their progress before getting up to go.
"I'm sorry, but I can't stay any longer. I've got to go stretch my legs, maybe eat, and maybe go see some of my friends. I'll see you all tomorrow though, won't I?"
The children all nodded before Bedlam gave a last goodbye and began walking away from the kids, running into you around the corner. He immediately apologized.
"Sorry, I didn't see you!"
[spoiler]Open.[/spoiler]
-
"Just try not to be annoying while I head back." She said, still walking towards her ship
-
"Alright, I'll try." He replied, beginning to follow again.
-
She just kept walking, her face grim despite the change in character for the moment.
-
Edited by Stitch: 12/21/2017 7:25:57 PMBedlam wasn't exactly fond of her grim expression, so he pulled a violin out of thin air and began to play a little happy tune as he walked behind her. It would probably just annoy her, but he felt like he needed to at least try something.
-
"You're flat." She said as they stopped at her ship "So what is it that you wanted me to do?"
-
"I'm not flat..." He mumbled to himself. "I just wanted you to be happy. That's why I'm not going to stop until I see a genuine smile on that face."
-
She rolled her eyes "This is a piss-poor attempt to get in my pants, you know that, right?"
-
Bedlam sighed. "I'm not trying to do anything like that. I have a girlfriend, okay?"
-
"Mhm." She said "And you're offering to take me to dinner. Speaks wonders about your relationship"
-
"Free food is not a romantic dinner, Alpha. It's a new relationship, but I'd never cheat on her or do anything of the sort. I'm very happy with her, thank you." His violin vanished. "How about a friendly walk and then a friendly meal? A guy and a girl don't have to be dating to enjoy spending time with each other, y'know."
-
"Well, I haven't had a romantic dinner in a long time." She said with a laugh "Kinda hard to do when you're a furry"
-
"Well, I bet you'll find someone willing in no time. You're not exactly ugly, Alpha, maybe a bit rough with the personality, but charming in a way." He said, trying to be truthful, but not get killed.
-
"The last person I had a relationship with branded me with the -blam!-ing jewish handbook to beating your wife, beat me within an inch of dying, and then left me after trying to make me feel better because she felt bad." "Even if I did find someone I don't think I'd do very well."
-
"You have to at least try, Alpha. I bet you'll find that guy or girl someday and you'll be looking back, wondering how you ever thought you would end up alone. I believe in you even if you don't." He smiled reassuringly.
-
"well, if you know anyone who's looking...once I break it off, send them my way."
-
Bedlam nodded. "Will do, Alpha, but maybe you shouldn't go see Pan to...break it off. I think it's already broken enough and I sort of fear one of you getting hurt from another interaction."
-
"I kinda have to" She said softly "I'm already scarred enough"
-
"Come on, let's just go have fun. Just forget about your ex, okay?" He tried to wrap an arm around her shoulders.
-
She brushed him off "You have a girlfriend, best not."
-
"We can be friends and hangout, Alpha. When I say "have fun" I don't mean go f*ck like animals, okay?" He rolled his eyes. "Why do people think everything is about sex?"
-
"Because living as a furry means you get hunted just for breathing." She said "I'll probably get drunk anyhow"
-
"Don't get drunk. Getting drunk fixes nothing. How about a sober meal between friends where we can laugh and enjoy each other's company...without pissing off Pan."
-
"I'm gonna get so drunk" She said with a grin
-
"How about no?" He grinned back. "Come on, we can go have fun together."
-
"Alcohol is a great way to have fun" She said, grinning