I'll be honest here: I almost cried reading the last three parts of this. There's not much I can do about physical medical issues, as I am probably no where near you and I don't plan on being in the medical field. But I can say that every dragging moment can be better than you think. If you girl friend leaves you I'm sorry but that's her fault. You'll be able to find someone else as long as you adjust a little and hang on to life. Things only get worse if you will them to do so. The same goes for things getting better. But nature also takes part in those things. Nature weakened you with the disorders you have. But that's only physically. Mentally though, you can be strong. As long as that's what you want to be. Only you can stay strong through your mind and power through each and passing day if you believe that you can. If you think life's pointless, then life is pointless to you and you might as well give up. But if you think life is worth living, then life is really meant for you. Do you get what I'm saying here?