I[b]BEWARE THIS BLOCK OF TEXT IM SORRY[/b] I've been diagnosed with depression, and it's a terrible thing. I see a therapist, and I see a psychiatrist, and I have loving family and friends that try to support me. However, a recent turn of events is making me extremely depressed, and I have no one to talk to at the moment. To start off, I was born with many issues. I had ASD/VSD, they're holes in the walls of the heart. There were three, and all by one has closed up. I developed GERD's (acid reflux on freaking meth basically) at a young age. Now, as a 16 year old whose life goal was to join the military (a goal set when I was just a toddler) I am now told there is no way for me to join. I have a leak in my heart next to my aorta valve, and that paired with my hole (VSD) can cause pressure to my aortic valve, which happens to be unnaturally large. I will require open heart surgery to clog up the holes before my valve blows later on. With my GERD's, I need to radically change my diet, which was pretty balanced In the first place. GERD's tears the lining o my esophagus, and my chance for throat cancer is increased. It also can form a hernia, which I do no remember the name o, but the doctors say if I keep up my diet I'll develop it. I'm in a relationship, and it's starting to go down hill. She is starting to get more distant, she's making up excuses to not come over or go on dates, and she never lets me in when I ask her what's wrong. Alas, I realize I'm young, and my life will be full of others, but still. She makes me happy, and id like to keep her around for as long as i can. On top of this, my grandfather, who I loved dearly, passed away recently. I called my Nana the other day to sing her happy birthday, as that is custom in my family, and his voice was her answering machine. I broke down in tears. The thing that hurts the most, is having to be told that something you've worked so hard for, a dream that you've had since kindergarten, will remain just that. A dream. I've wanted to join the military since I could think for myself. I wanted to be a navy FMF corpsman, I even joined NJROTC and I'm focusing all of my classes on medical fields, like AP Bio, Anatomy, things like that. I've worked so hard to get where I'm at. I've had to drag myself out of bed when I was at the lowest point of depression, not wanting to live another second in this world, but I did. I wanted to help others, I wanted to fight and heal others who couldn't do it on their own. Now, I cant. I don't even want to eat anymore, it bothers me so much. I honestly don't know what I want to do with my life. Some will say "become a doctor". I could, but you see I'm not exactly financially stable, and I probably couldn't afford medical school. Sports isn't an option either, I quit football and wrestling, both I had a natural talent for, for NJROTC. Even if I wanted to go back and play, I couldn't now. I'm confused, broken, tired, and lost. I have no one to turn to right now, my significant other isn't here for me right now, and I'm laying here in bed, tears falling from my eyes, typing this out on a stupid forum for the world to see. You all now know my story, and I'll admit, it's not the worst one out there. If you happen to recognize me in real life from this, I beg you, help, for I am too tired, and not motivated to scream that word anymore. To others, and OP, my case isn't the worst. Help others before me, and make sure the people that don't have people to cry and vent to have someone. It really makes a difference.