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Edited by Treebeard: 1/18/2015 12:34:38 PM
45

Would you rather...? (Masochist version)

Throttle your own child to death

42

Pee broken glass for life

3

Drink only blended foetus juice for life

18

Gnaw your own hand off

6

Have sex with a dead relative

164

Be shot in the kneecaps and elbows with a shotgun

8

Bite your nails off one by one

61

You have to perform one of the above acts or take on one of the above traits. But which one is the least emotionally/ physically scarring? You decide. For all of these you would be fully awake, and with no anaesthetics or painkillers. No surgery/ therapy etc. can be had after the act. If you don't have a child or one of the characteristics needed for something on the list, just imagine you do. Edit: the dead relative has been dead just long enough to stink and rot (the occasional chunk of flesh will fall off), but still be recognisable. You must look at them while you 'do your business' with them. For every time you vote and don't reply, I'll burn down a child.

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  • What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and -blam!- over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now

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