Randal "The Animal" Vandal promoted to the Kell of Terror:
This Fallen has earned the respect of Guardians worldwide, he has stomped out more light than Crota himself and has soaked more bullets than Aksor.
Randal holds his cave down like nobody else has and in my immeasurable opinion, earned the right to be a Kell.
As the unifying voice of public and popular opinion, I request... Nay, demand! That Randal is immediately promoted and is granted the title: Terror of Old Russia.
He must extend his reach and area of appearance, no, not as an event but as a roaming raid boss who darkens the skies above the area he enters in. Our ghosts must yell at us to run, for terror has arrived and our dear Kell, Randal "The Animal" Vandal: Terror of Old Russia, must show no mercy!
He should do full laps around the cosmodrome with an entourage of Vandals riding Pikes.
He must be twice as tough as a Kell on Randal's special steroid serum and if need be, ride a walker as a mount!
Bungie, this is no longer a request, this is your next patch. Do not let your legion of fans down, give us hell, give us the Kell, Randal.
Guardians, unite behind this sole cause and push for it! Forget about your pvp or story woes, forget about your weapon buffs, forget about it and help give Randal the station he deserves.
Ps. The only reward we should get from him is a grimoire card of legendary importance.
Also, it's perfectly acceptable to use any existing Kell model and make him larger in scale with a smaller crit zone, not that it mattered, Randal took more shots to the face than most people's m... That's probably a good point to stop at.
Edit:
Instead of the sky going dark when he strolls down his block, it should turn blood red, cause it's the end for us all!
-
To those who aren't in the know, Randal "The Animal" Vandal is a warrior unequalled on old Russia. He's the reason sepkis prime hides behind a walker. He's the reason the hive haven't gained a foothold. He's the reason humanity is still living in the tower and not the wilds. He stands at the entrance of his cave with Hank "The Shank" drifting nearby. The Gregs avoid him like the plague. How do you know you've bumped into Randal? You're out of ammo, flashing red and running your ass off. His plate says level 8, thats a lie, it was bait and he owned you mate. He jammed Atheon outside of time with one punch and if Kabr didn't mess around we would not have had to raid the vault of glass. Kabr was the only Guardian that Randal didn't kill, instead he took him under his wing and taught him how to be a badass. In the end, Kabr let it get to his head and got dead. If you've never run out of ammo with every weapon and nearly died several times, you haven't met Randal the Vandal. You haven't faced true darkness.