This is a great post - you've touched on pretty much ALL the issues that I've run into. Which is why I've only done VoG once from beginning to end. And I don't forsee that chance coming again anytime soon.
The noobosphere is a dark place. I've done some 'pickup' raid attempts from the Tower and had a bad experience every time - with every one of the problems OP mentions.
I'm sure some of you have run into the platform problem as well. Friends changing console family, current-gen, etc. It divides potential friends to play with - which becomes a major handicap when trying to create a six person fireteam that hasn't called me a nub for not being a pro at it, hollering at me because I don't know a role as well (basically, I'm the one that says "Yes, I'll kill Supplicants, because that's all I've ever learned to do - God help us if I get teleported") - or simply quitting out and leaving me there at the end - then likely finding another group to complete the raid with.
I actually attempted a raid last week with GP'ers and not only kept hearing about how I was not doing my job sufficiently, but also hearing a constant tirade of insults between the so-called 'experts' in the group. Right at the end, they dropped me from party chat because I was apparently useless to them. Oh, and did I mention I got laughed at every time I made a mistake?
Not hard to admit I suck at gaming. Not hard to admit I need coaching. Hard to find folks that get that. So I sit at my barely level 29, not being able to go any further. I've bought 2/3 of my gear and had dumb luck disassembling/farming/cryptarching. But now I'm stuck again - no raid gear. And I want to go raiding.
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