Lately several Guardians have been reported in the bottom lounge of the hanger conducting unsavory business deals with an unknown merchant. Only known as Xur, this…thing…has been seen selling various black market and exotic equipment to the Guardians. Is it possible that this man does not have our best intentions? Could he be working for the Hive or The Fallen? Weapons and armor like these have been outlawed for years now, but somehow this dealer is getting away with it. Tower Security declined to comment on the situation as well as the other merchants around the area. Could it be that Xur is really working for Tower Security in a plan to over throw the existing government?! We tried to talk to a few Guardians as they left the lounge, but all warped into space after being stopped. Over twenty Guardians when asked about buying black market weapons stated, “They need to go, the stove was left on…” Could it be that buying these weapons are dulling the sense of our only protectors!? This mass wave of left on stoves could be all a ploy to set our beloved city ablaze? And what connections does the ignoring of mass stoves have with the mysterious Xur? Upon further investigation and a bit of undercover work, one of our reporters found out that this mysterious stranger would not even take Glimmer but these Strange Coins that are appearing more and more. What purpose do these coins even serve to Xur? Could they be brainwashing our fellow Guardians!? After meeting a contact in the underground scene our reported discovered shocking news. Xur has a brother still living on Earth! That’s right you heard it folks! And guess what? We found him! Below is a photograph taken by our reporter, and I must say the resemblance is striking to say the least! [url=http://i139.photobucket.com/albums/q289/LouMooRessie/RE4/merchantsmall.jpg]The Brother[/url] We cornered the unnamed brother and demanded the truth. I have written out part of the interview for all of you to read! Reporter: “How do you explain your connection to the person only known as Xur?” Brother: “What are you buying?” Reporter: “Where do you get the exotic weapons to sell?” Brother: What…are you buying?” Reporter: No no no! I need names, dates, this is illegal arms dealing! We have the right mind to get you locked away for years.” Brother: “What…” Reporter: We are not going to buy any of your dirty conservative, liberal, Fallen loving, immigrant helping, scandalous goods!” Brother: What are you…selling?”: As you can clearly see the brother has suffered massive brain damage and our interview could not continue. Perhaps this is a side effect of inhaling the gas from the left on stoves, or from these mysterious coins. One thing is for sure…this brother had a lot of eggs sold to him recently. Fear not fellow readers, as we here at Tower Tabloid are bent on discovering the truth. After weeks of interviews a breakthrough has happened. One Guardian, who will remain unnamed, finally decided to speak about the mysterious Xur. Below is an excerpt from his statement regarding the Strange Coins. Guardian: “Well…we never understood why he wanted the coins, but the deals he gave were too good. Eventually one day I gathered the courage up and asked him why he would want these. He removed his hood and stared into the eyes of pure greed…pure…evil…” His words were too graphic to print in regards to the coins use but he sat down with our artist and gave us a rough profile of what Xur’s true identity is. I warn you fellow Guardians this image may be too much for young viewers so please do not let them read this holo-paper. Here is the only known image of merchant named Xur and where your money goes! [url=http://www.geek.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/scrooge-mcduck-swimming-in-money.jpg]Xur's Identity![/url] There you have it folks! Another mystery solved by your watchful reporters in the field. We appreciate your love and support; so I implore you do not buy from this…monster! Best wishes and salutations Guardians! Related Articles: “I Married A Servitor!” “Local Cryptologists Responsible For Massive Hide Genocide?” “Fallen Immigrants: Good or Bad For Us?”