DARK HELMET(lifts up mask) Careful, you idiot. I said across her nose, not up it. GUNNER(lifts up eye guard) Sorry, sir. (he is cross-eyed) Doing my best. DARK HELMET Who made that man a gunner? MAJOR I did, sir. He's my cousin. (he is cross-eyed, too) DARK HELMET Who is he? COL SANDURZ He's an Asshole, sir. DARK HELMET I know that. What's his name? COL SANDURZ That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole. DARK HELMET And his cousin? COL SANDURZ He's an Asshole, too, sir. Gunner's-mate, 1st Class, Philip Asshole. DARK HELMET How many Assholes we got on this ship, anyhow? All, but few, stand up. ALL Yo! DARK HELMET I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes. (pulls down mask) Keep firing, Assholes. That quote is so good I don't even need to add balls to it