Firstly, let me give the back story and (replacement) names.[spoiler][u]Harry[/u] is my grandpa. He's about 75 years old. He's lived in his house for years, and his wife(my grandma) died several years ago. They had several children. [u]Kenneth[/u] is nearly 50 and still lives with Harry. He was supposedly very intelligent in childhood, but started smoking and drinking in his teens. He's never owned a home and remains an alcoholic to this day, but with added drug abuse. [u]Jackson[/u] is closer to 40. He's had two children, who now live with their mother. For the past couple years, Jackson has been living with Harry. He's been without a job for awhile now, and has started drinking and abusing drugs. [u]Daniel[/u] is about 55. He has a long history of drinking, drug abuse, and even theft. He's been placed in jail on multiple occasions for even years at a time. However, he's been clean for the last several months (besides marijuana), and has recently acquired an interest in technology. He also lives with Harry. [u]Douglas[/u] is nearly 60. He is Harry's younger brother, and usually sleeps at his sister's house. Douglas often visits and stays the night at Harry's. Douglas also drinks and abuses drug. Kenneth, Jackson, and Daniel are brothers.[/spoiler] On the way home from university, my mom was telling me about all this crazy stuff that was going on at Harry's house. She told me that Kenneth had been hallucinating and accusing Jackson and Daniel of going up into the attic together and masturbating. He's been complaining about their sperm leaking through the (solid) ceiling and flooding the house. She also told me that Douglas had been there for the past few nights, and how he's been seeing ghosts and talking to them. After hearing about all that, I definitely wanted to witness this for myself, so I decided to visit Harry's house. Upon arrival, I look out to the large barn-like, two-story shed sitting about 100ft(30m) behind Harry's house. I see Daniel and Jackson sitting on its front porch. I hear Kenneth loudly rambling to himself, and I look left to see him in the enclosed glass room connected to the house's back porch; flailing his arms about while hurriedly walking in circles, alcohol in hand. My mother goes to talk with him, while I walk toward the shed to talk with Jackson and Daniel. While talking with them about the whole situation, Daniel (who was on his phone) says aloud, "How to put a family member into a mental institution". I said, "That's probably the best plan of action in this situation". Jackson then said, "Douglas up there needs it too; both them guys would look real pretty in a straitjacket". Jackson then told me that Douglas was in the shed at that very moment jacking off to ghosts. More specifically, he was looking at a mirror that was reflecting the window, and he was jacking off while looking at nothing. Daniel later told me that Kenneth told them had seen the Grim Reaper in the house. This [i]Grim Reaper[/i] was facing toward the direction of the shed, so Kenneth [i]knew[/i] that the spirit was after Daniel and Jackson. While Daniel was in the bathroom, Kenneth walked up and said, "Happy birthday, and I hope that Grim Reaper takes you straight down to Hell". Not only that, but Kenneth threatened to kill them both if he caught them masturbating in the attic again (which they weren't actually doing). While in the house talking with my mom and Daniel, Douglas walked in and started talking about all the ghosts. He told us that he had 100 women all lined up and waiting to perform for him. He also said that he had seen two ghosts lying down in a boat in the neighbor's lake, and that one was naked. It was then that Kenneth walked in and into the laundry room, looking for a clean shirt that wasn't covered in sperm. He was rambling and complaining about how heavy the smell of semen was all throughout the house. Later, Daniel and Jackson were tasked with driving Douglas back to his sister's house. Douglas was just about to get into the car, but he stopped and looked out into the open field beside the shed. I watched and listened as Douglas waved at nothing and yelled, "I promise I'll be back! Bye! I'll miss you all!" [b][u]tl;dr[/u][/b][quote]My uncle and his uncle are hallucinating and are convinced that my other two uncles are masturbating in the attic, the house is filled with semen, and ghosts want to have sex with them.[/quote]