I made this thread in hopes of finding fellow Shrek fans with stories of their own. Here's mine: "I wake up in the morning to my parents screaming at me, telling me "Wake up fa­ggot, and clean your shitty room!" Angry that they did not read the warning sign on my door I roar at them, saying "Get out! This is my swamp!" You see the thing is I'm a Shrek fan. I have the collectors edition DVD with the case that talks and I watch it every weekend. Sometimes I wish I lived in a land Far Far Away like the ones I adore. After eating breakfast(I skip showering and brushing) my father notices the stench of raw onions and orders me to shower. He thinks I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. I call him an asshole and he punches me down to the ground. He gets on top of me screaming "I'll kill you worthless piece of shit!" as I say my last goodbyes to this cruel world, I hear a faint but familiar voice in the wind. This quiet, and soothing voice says "It not ogre till I say it's ogre." I look up only to see Shrek on top of my father ground pounding him with his giant green fist. My face rose full of joy when I saw this. When the deed was done Shrek cleansed his stained fist with mud and I hugged him. "Easy there tiger!" he says, he looks me in the eye and I can see the color of mud in his pupils. He slams my body on a table leaving my lower body hanging downward. He shoves his giant ogre cock in my anus. I was sore but cried tears of joy, for it was no ordinary man tearing my rectum apart. It was Shrek. My mother comes downstairs saying "Who's cooking with onions in here." She looks with her eyes now filled with horror. Shrek being the brave sexy ogre he is looks her dead in the eyes and says "It's all ogre now." As my mother faints he then flys out of the window and goes far, far away. Soon after I notice another familiar smell. Someone else is in this house....but who? I yell "Who dare enters my swamp?!" The mysterious person not revealing their identity only says this "I'm making waffles!" To be Continued....