I don't know if any of you know me, I don't make a lot of posts but I do comment frequently. For the people that do recognize me probably know by now that I've been dating a girl that I care a lot about. For the people that don't know or want to hear more I'll sum up all the important stuff in different paragraphs. We dated for about 4 years, basically since we met. I helped her with all her problems and she helped me with mine. We both used to be... suicidal, and when I met her it felt like all the weight was taken off my shoulders. She stopped cutting herself and stopped having those thoughts. We spent a good year together, but then some stuff happened and I had to move. We stayed together but the stress got to her, not being able to see me all the time (She didn't have her license at the time). One time she had a really tough month, with her foster parents being... well... uninformed parents, plus all her friends turned their backs on her. She started cutting herself again. One time she cut too deep and she had to be taken to a hospital even farther away from me. I drove almost every day to go see her, she wasn't allowed to leave because they were doing psych-evaluations and stuff. She was scared. Fast forward about a year: We were happy, we spent multiple days together... we were in love (Or what felt like it). After a little while the distance starting getting to us again... She quit her job so we could spend more time together and we spent every day possible going to the ocean, seeing movies, or just sitting around, watching tv and playing video games. She made me genuinely happy. We could be doing literally nothing and she would cheer me up, just by smiling. Somehow something changed in her though. The past month she would barely talk to me and she seemed to never have time to hang out. So I started getting worried and got a little sad/depressed because something was obviously going on, yeah cheerleading started up (January) but that couldn't have been the only reason. I messaged her yesterday if something was up and she said that she wants to break up... I was completely blown away. I didn't know what to say so all I said was, "why?" She said because I was needy and depressing... The only reason I got depressed is because she stopped talking to me for whatever reason. She broke my heart for the second time ((first being the whole hospital thing) I didn't know she was cutting herself by the way). I don't even know what I'm feeling... I guess, deep down, that I saw this coming... or at least felt it... But I haven't broke down yet, that won't happen for another couple of days. But just like that, she's gone. I don't know what I hope to accomplish by putting this out there for a bunch of people to see, I guess I'm just venting... but I appreciate anyone that read it. I'm just a little... lost right now...