(If you would like to be added to the notification list, please let me know.) Camnator honestly thought this was the end for him and the others. To die at the hands of an overpowered idiot like Rose was downright humiliating. If he hadn't been stoned out of his mind, he probably would have screamed when the explosion happened. But instead he embraced for the sudden grip of death to take him. So when he opened his eyes to find he was still alive, he was quite surprised to find that the ship was still intact and that he still had a body. He was about to ask where the explosion came from when he was answered by a loud roar from outside the ship. "JOOOOHN CENA!!!!!!!!!!!" A feed from one of the monitors showed John Cena standing on one end of the cavern holding a plasma coil with two of his limbs. He threw the plasma coil towards Rose's alts where it exploded in a blue flash, vaporizing them into ashes. But from the ashes emerged even more Rose alts. "Holy shit! I forgot about him!" exclaimed Camnator. Which was quite odd because normally he wouldn't forget a creature with an extra set of legs and a questionably shaped head resting in between them. But recent events made John Cena's phallic appearance seem normal. Jane pressed a button on the monitor and shouted "VIKTOR! THAT CRAZY BITCH CAN BLOCK YOUR ATTACKS AND REMOVE YOUR VOICE, PLUS SHE MULTIPLIES WHEN YOU DESTROY HER CLONES!" Rose's alts continued to attack the ships, but some of them broke off and began to move towards John Cena. He didn't have any visible ears, but he seemed to have understood what Jane said, because he crouched into a pose and began to chant "John Cena John Cena John Cena John Cena..." Camnator could sense an aura radiate from John Cena and penetrate the walls. It was getting stronger by the second. Rose's alts moved closer to John Cena, but he didn't make any move to defend himself. "What the hell is he doing?" Verbatim wondered out loud. "He's buying us time." Jane responded, and she continued to type a bunch of commands on her holographic panel. A deep rumble shook the cavern and a large iris door opened in the cieling above the ship. "Kiala, how did you build all of this without any humans noticing it's existance?" Vien asked. "I'm rich Vien. You forget that I took on the identity of Sigourney Weaver and became famous." "Yes I know. But how did you convince whoever you contracted to build this structure not to tell anybody?" Vien continued to press. "I-I had methods of persuas....VIEN, DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS THE TIME?" she shouted at him. Vien was about to respond when Mr. Psychologist cut him off, "Vien, I understand the need to ask questions, but it appears your mate is under a lot of stress. I think it would be wise if we left this for a later time." "Very well then." Vien conceded,then went over to another terminal and began to aid Jane. In the live feed, Rose's alts were converging on on John Cena, who was still chanting. They formed a circle around him, laughing at how hideous he was, but his chants began to echo around the cavern, reverberating off the walls. The sound seemed to travel through the stone and metal, through all the monitors and alien gadgets. Camnator could feel the powerful aura penetrate everything but the ship and circular passageway above it. "Kiala!" Vien exclaimed, "The autopilot is offline! We will have to fly manually!" Jane what sounded like profanity, but it was in sangheili "That means we will have to use the sensors to see where we are going. I was hoping I wouldn't have to see what Viktor is about to do." Jane brought online all the other external feeds. "How is he going to stop Rose? We couldn't do anything to her....WHAT THE -blam!-?!?" Verbatim shouted as he viewed the live feed. Camnator let out a burst of laughter when he saw the view. It was so obscene and absurd. John Cena let out a loud roar and began to shout "JOHN CENA JOHN CENA JOHN CENA JOHN CENA!!!!" as huge fleshy appendages burst from the walls like tentacles in the caverns and began to spin around. More appendages broke through the ground and wrapped around Rose's alts. Her shields blocked her from damage, but the countless disembodied phallic limbs wrapped around the shields and held her alts in place. White sticky acid erupted from openings at the tip of the appendages and spewed over all of Rose's alts, causing her to scream with rage. "MUTED AND BLOCKED!" she shrieked, and attempted to silence John Cena, but more appendages burst from the floor in front of him and blocked her attack, which caused her to shriek even louder. Camnator was in tears, he had never seen anything quite as hilarious. He stumbled over to where Jane was standing, and pressed the button she used to activate the external loudspeaker and said "HEY ROSE, WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO BUTTHURT?! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" which caused all of Rose's alts to shriek with more rage. "WOW R-ROSE," Camnator stuttered because he was laughing so hard, "YOU REALLY NEED TO GET A LIFE IF YOU GET SO BUTTHURT OVER A LITTLE BIT OF C-COCKERY!" Rose's alts threw a barrage of incoherent insults at the ship, but they couldn't do anything because they were wrapped in fleshy coils. Sprouting from those coils were even more fleshy appendages, which began to spin around and slap Rose's alts in their faces. "OW OW OW!!oh my GOD!!! STOP THAT YOU SACK OF WORTHLESS SHIT, I'M AN ENGINEER!" Camnator heard one of them say. He was crying so hard that he didn't even notice when Jane picked him up by the scruff of his neck again and threw him back next to Verbatim. "Kiala! The ship is ready!" Vien said. Jane took over the loudspeaker, she couldn't keep the tone of disgust out of her voice. "Viktor! Thank you for your...help. We owe you our lives!" then she piloted the ship up the tunnel while carefully watching the feed from the monitors. Camnator realized that he was very lucky to be alive. Not just because of the danger the bane posed, but also because Jane had the strength to simultaneously break every bone in his body with very little effort and she had a rather volutile temper. But she had manhandled him several times without leaving even a bruise. Just a few moments ago, when she picked him up and threw him, he noticed a subtly change in her aura. Camnator wasn't sure, but he thought he felt a hint of affection. "Pssssst! Mr. Psychologist!" Camnator whispered. "Yes Camnator?" Mr. Psychologist answered. "Is there a way to tell if an alien chick digs me?" Camnator asked. Mr. Psychologist scratched his chin and pondered, then he replied "Hmm, well it would depend on the xenos really... Assuming we are talking about a split-jaw then they display several distinctive mating ritual precursors. These include the following, Sudden outbursts of physical violence, quivering of the mandibles to produce a chittering sound, attempts at unwanted contact." "Thanks man, how do you know this? Is this just part of the gift the bane gave you?" Camnator asked. "Actually no. I once interviewed Vien on bungie.net about the sangheili mating rituals. Little did I know that his role-playing was much closer to reality than I could have guessed at the time. He went into exquisite detail about how the males secrete a....nevermind." Mr. Psychologist answered, he appeared to be remembering something unpleasant. "Thanks man, you're awesome!" Camnator exclaimed. Camnator looked over at Jane and admired the way she expertly maneuvered the ship up the long narrow shaft. But his eyes were drawn to her big, robust, scaly alien booty. Damn she was hot, he wanted to walk up and squeeze those majestic cheeks in his arms. He thought about what Mr. Psychologist said. Jane had outbursts of physical violence, check. She quivered her mandibles quite a bit when she shouted at him, check. Plus she made a lot of unwanted contact. After all, who would want to be picked up by the scruff of the neck? "Hey, Verbatim." Camnator said, "I think she likes me." Verbatim looked like he was about to reply, but he was cut off. "We are about to reach the surface." Jane announced. As the ship flew out of another iris door, the entire party gasped. "By the prophets..." Vien uttered. "Holy shit....this...this is.." Verbatim exclaimed. Camnator didn't say anything because it was horrible, it was a violation against mother nature. The entire landscape was unrecognizable. It did not look like New York City, the entire landscape was composed of sideways porches jutting up into the sky, giant boulders that sprouted legs and began to run away. Dark purple clouds began to form overhead and it began to rain eyeballs and noodles. Military helicopters in the distance faught oversized parrots that vomited chocolate. Soldiers on the ground were fighting waves and waves of 10 foot tall posts made of shit. (continued in the answer)