This thread is inspired by another: view original post
Vien ran to the restroom as fast as he could when he got Maluki's message. But he never expected to see a woman in the men's room who also happened to be a celebrity. Vien also never expected to receive a hug and a kiss on his cheeks from the woman, and he certainly didn't expect her to grope him. Humans usually did not do that to somebody like him unless they were under the influence of alcohol.
"Vien, I'm glad you made it. You must have followed them too." Sigourney said to him, as if she knew him. "I beg your pardon miss Weaver?" Vien questioned her. But then he noticed the bodies on the ground. Jay, Harlow, and 2 other women he did not recognize were laying unconscious on the ground. Vien then heard a movement in the corner of the restroom, he looked and saw Verbatim curled in a fetal position. Vien immediately walked over to him as Sigourney Weaver spoke, "He will not talk, I've tried to get information out of him, but humans are so easily traumatized."
Vien stopped and spun around, his holosuit pixelated and reformed. "humans?" He asked. Sigourney Weaver smiled and said "It's nice to see you again love." Then she raised her arm, showing a watch identical to the one on Vien's arm. "Jane?" Vien asked "Is that you?", his voice filled with shock. But somehow, he wasn't as surprised as he sounded. Only Jane could portray a human female as such a badass warrior. But then Vien felt another cold spot, this time it was on his legs. He rushed into one of the open stalls and slammed it. "Sorry" he said, "I left my holocell recharging station at my home." Vien could feel the top of his holosuit begin to fail completely. Judging from the cool air he suddenly felt on the top of his head and mandibles, he guessed his head was now exposed.
"That doesn't matter." Jane replied, "As you surely know, this world is in grave danger now. That is why you came isn't it?" Vien began to reply "I have no idea wha....wha..." but a rumbling resounded throughout the building. It began to get closer and closer until the whole bathroom shook. He could hear people screaming in the hallways and something hit the bathroom door with a thump. Vien thought he heard somebody shout "OH GOD! MY UNDERWEAR IS TURNING INTO A PORCH!!!!IT'S TEARING THROUGH MY LEGS GRAHHHHH!!!!!" followed by a brutal snapping sound.
"By the prophets!" Vien said "What it going on out there?" Just then, he heard the bathroom door burst open and then shut. Then he heard Jane walk over to the door, followed by the sound of twisting metal, after which she walked over to Vien's stall and knocked on the door. "Vien! Get out here right now!" she demanded. "Jane, I mustn't. My device is running out of power. I will be discovered." he pleaded. "It doesn't matter! Get out here or I will tear that door down and drag you out here! It is time for you and I to explain to these whelps what is going on." She said with a new ferocity. "But I don't know what is going on...." he murmered, but then he aquiesced.
Vien pressed a button on his watch and felt the holosuit dematerialize, a gentle cooling sensation cascaded down on his body, taking the human clothes along with it to keep them in digital storage, a nice feature he rather liked. But then he remembered he had forgotten to wear more apparel underneath. All he had was a thong he liked to wear because it turned Maluki on. "Oh dear...." he thought. But he pushed through the stall door and stepped out. He saw Camnator standing at the door with a look of disbelief.
"BY THE PROPHETS VIEN, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?" Jane shouted. He saw her face turning red, one of the few characteristics he found made humans look rather indimidating. He tried to play it cool "Uh...I believe they call it a thong. You should try them." he said. "WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING ANY ARMOR?!?" she shouted and swung her arms, accidentally knocking her control watch against the wall. Her holosuit began to dematialize. Sigourney Weaver's head dematerialized, revealing a fierce-looking female sanghieli. She didn't seem to notice her mistake. "I didn't know it would be needed. I never planned on being seen." Vien replied.
"HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW YOU WOULDN'T NEED IT?!?" Jane shouted, "A WARRIOR SUCH AS YOURSELF SHOULD NEVER LEAVE HIS LIVING QUARTERS WITHOUT IT! FIRST YOU BETRAY ME, THEN YOU MARRY THAT DRAGON, THEN YOU SHOW UP IN THE MIDST OF WHAT COULD BE THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF THIS WORLD WEARING.....THAT MONSTROSITY!!!" To say Jane was furious was an understatement. Vien began to back away from her. There were a few times Vien came close to death. One was when he crashed in a malfunctioning phantom, another was when he fought the parasite, the other was when he made Jane angry.
"Vien...." she said, her voice still trembling. "What the HELL is wrong with you?!? Did you not know....did you not see the signs that our foe made it through to this universe?!?" Vien instantly became alert, "THE FLOOD IS HERE?!? WHERE?!? HOW MANY INFECTION FORMS MADE IT THROUGH?!?" he shouted. This sent Jane off again. "THE.....THE FLOOD?!? VIEN, WHAT HUMAN DRUGS HAVE YOU BEEN CONSUMING?!?" she screamed. "Jane, our foe...the flood." "VIEN! I do not know WHAT has gotten into you, but THE FLOOD NEVER EXISTED!" her voice now quivered with a hint of fear. "Surely you knew that?!?"
Vien was thoroughly confused. How could she say the flood never existed? He remembered the awful abominations as they.....as they....Vien's mind became foggy. He couldn't recall everything. But he knew the parasite was their enemy, it threatened the entire galaxy, he almost lost Jane to....he almost lost Jane....but he couldn't remember how he almost lost her. "They...were our enemy" he murmered. But suddenly he couldn't recall ever fighting the flood, it was like part of his memory was blocked. "Vien," Jane spoke again, but with a much more gentle tone. "The flood is something Bungie made up." But Vien could remember the halo rings, the prophets, the great journey....but he couldn't remember the flood. "But they based Halo off the human government's document leaks...." Vien said "the leaks where the found...and interrogated me. I told them everything..."
"Jane....I-I don't remember..." He said. "I don't remember....actually fighting the parasite." Jane answered "Vien, something happened to you. The halos did exist, so did the prophets, so did everything else. But our enemy was never the flood. If only it were so easy. The enemy we faced, is far worse. And now they are here, in this universe. One of their....queens....made it through, corrupted 3 of these humans...and did something to your human friend."
They remained silent for a few moments. It was quiet....unnaturally quiet. Before there were screams and trembling, now they couldn't hear anything coming from outside the door. A sudden bubbling noise startled both of them. Jane whirled around and flashed an energy blade to life and pointed it at Camnator, who was sitting there puffing on the hose of a rather large hookah. He took the hose out of his mouth, looked at Jane, and puffed a smoke ring in the air and began to laugh.
"A normal human would freak out witnessing what just happened out there," he began "only to come in here and find out you both are aliens with the hots for eachother. Damn Vien, I knew you were a weirdo, but you surpassed my expectations. It's a good thing God invented weed and all weed paraphanelia. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" Just then the sirens began to sound in the distance and a porch burst through the door, right above Camnator's head.
After the dust cleared, Camnator was still sitting there, puffing on his hookah as if nothing happened, as if a porch didn't just burst through the door, taking it off it's hinges and miraculously missing him. A loud voice could be heard resonating from the hallway. "I AM THE PORCH LORD!!!! YOU WILL ALL BOW TO ME!!!!" followed by another crash. Jane went over and scooped up Verbatim and threw him into Vien's arms. "Take him. We have to get out of here. This has gotten a lot more complicated than I previously thought." she demanded.
(To be continued)
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[quote] If only it were so easy.[/quote] That got me...