I was walking to school with one of my more pervy friends and he was making a big show of having itchy balls. So he undid his zipper and stuck his whole fat hand inside and made a lot of noise gasping and making "OOH THAT FEELS MUCH BETTR!" kind of noises but then the moron couldn't get his hand out again. So he walked all the way to class with his hand stuck in there and when he finally got it out he started parading round the room and triumphantly waving it as though he was the Pope or something but he'd forgotten to zip himself back up and someone exclaimed "SIR, HE'S GOT HIS PENIS OUT" and then the idiot got a detention.