Christ, my mute list is insane thanks to this thread.
Felicia, I love you in ways I can't explain.
But let's back up here: I've been here since I was 11. Yikes, I know. And for many years I was conditioned to believe that I didn't own my body by ultra conservative people IRL and by the hordes of assholes on the Flood and 4chan. The judgement I'd undergo when I'd post a picture of myself or even identify myself as female (either on a forum or through XBL) would just reinforce that mentality. Society in general conditions men to treat women in such a piss poor manner, and they take that behavior with them for life. By sizing women up, men who don't know better are trying to own and control you.
Summing someone up to just how they look is a means to control and a way for a bully to convince their victim that they are less than human. And it wasn't until after I graduated high school did I realize these things. And yet, I remain here.
Why? Because there are people here who I love and care for and they make this place worth it. I've got the confidence and gall to say "-blam!- you" and deliver a broken nose to the nearest misogynist -blam!-wad that dares make a comment on my appearance. Because I know that how I look has nothing to do with the topic at hand. It's about their insecurity and inability to carry a conversation. The best counter to such idiots is to take that knowledge and turn them upside-down. Nothing scares a bully more than when their victim decides not to be one anymore. Sexist assholes who think they have the space to walk all over me are really just lowly jerks that I have the pleasure of not paying much heed to.
Because I am not art. I am not putting myself "on display" for anybody's pleasure, unless I explicitly say I am. And anyone who thinks that's it's okay to call me a "fat bitch" over my PAX pictures from four years ago is welcome to take a hike. My physical appearance is none of anyone's business, neither is yours.
Picture related. This is a picture of me along with many community members. It's a picture of ALL OF US. We're people of different ages, religion, race, genders, countries, financial situations, etc. Look at this amazing moment that many of us may look upon quite fondly. Some asshat will love to make a smart-ass comment. The shit that said person spews doesn't matter in the face of the decent human beings I've surrounded myself with.
I hope you don't feel driven out of here, because we need people like you, Felicia, with the gall to stand up for yourself in the hopes of making a difference. Please, please stick around.
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