It hurts me to say this, but telling from everybody's reactions, I think I already know who's won... Very well written. I did see a few bits that could be improved here and there (e.g. lines 12-13; not sure how something could be [u]at[/u] your shoulder, rather than [u]on[/u] it. Maybe it's just me, though), but other than that, a good read. Nice work!