originally posted in:The Black Garden
I like how ominous it was, and even though it was only supposed to be an anecdote/short story, it honestly seemed more like an introduction to a story. I liked it but, it made me want some form of action, that which it did not supply. Good writing, but I didn't like the lack of action, primarily because it built up so much suspense and made me kind of want more. I know you are limited to 300 words, but I would like to see this written further into this story you have established. I am not a judge, but I think doing this may give you a higher chance to win the competition. Please don't take this offensively, this was strictly constructive criticism.
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:) thanks for the opinion. I actually share your sentiments! I wanted to continue this so badly. Had to end it cause of the 300 word rule, but hopefully the judges won't just gravitate towards the action-heavy pieces.