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originally posted in:TFS The Floods Sanctuary
Edited by Felicia402: 4/27/2013 7:41:13 PM
39

Can you give a child too much confidence?

So I seen this picture shared on Facebook today and while reading, it made me wonder; Is it an actual good thing to really boost your child's self esteem so high? Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to imply parents shouldn't make their children feel good about themselves or say "They're just jealous" when other kids bully them at school, but is pounding into your kid's head that they're the "greatest", "the best", and "the most amazing person to ever be put on earth" really such a good thing? I believe I was born into a generation where families only would have one, two, maybe three kids. Less kids, more attention they receive and I believe, well know actually, a lot of the kids I grew up with in school truly thought there was nobody out there like them. No surprise that these kids tend to be an only child. I myself, grew up with a much older brother. 8 years to be exact, and I think I was nearly raised the same as an only child. I was spoiled rotten as a kid; got nearly every toy I wanted, went where I wanted to go, etc. However I was never really showered with compliments. If I done good on a test, yes, my parents would be proud but never said I was the smartest. If I placed first or second in a singing competition, I was never told I was the "best singer out there" but praised on my good work. If I done the best in art, I was never told I was the best artist but was encouraged to keep at it and unlike a lot of young girls that was my age, I was never constantly told I was "beautiful". I actually remember when I was 15 years old and I truly started caring and acknowledging my appearance. I went through a stage where my confidence wasn't at it's highest and I asked my mother, "Mom, why don't you ever say I'm beautiful or pretty?" and this is what she told me, "Because I didn't think you needed to be told. I want you to be confident in who you are as a person, not for something like your appearance or other less valuable things. I wanted you to not need words to make you feel good about yourself." She just wanted to keep me grounded and in a way, I'm very grateful she done so. Now, thinking about the way I want to raise my child when I do have one, I've been considering a lot how is the best way to go about this; giving them confidence but not too much nor having them relying on compliments to make themselves feel good. I think my mother went about it pretty well. She kept me grounded, but of course I eventually started caring about shallow things due to peers and the media, but I like to think because of her, I didn't dedicate too much of my life towards those things. So, what do you guys think about giving your kid "too much" confidence, or is there even such a thing?

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  • Edited by An Eagle Flying A Blimp: 5/1/2013 4:04:21 AM
    I think kids need some sort of praise to get a start in life. Not pampering worship, but most people aren't wired to just go out there and be awesome. They need to be told they're awesome first. I don't think telling a kid that they are the best is a good idea, though, as they will then see themselves at the pinnacle and stop improving as a person(and possibly get worse). Saying 'good job' encourages more behavior similar to the behavior that initially earned the praise, and will cause the recipient to want to improve. Thats my two cents on the issue at hand... or whatever my half asleep mind was willing to cough up on it.

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