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This thread is inspired by another: view original post
Edited by Steel Assassin:
2/22/2013 4:53:32 PM
11
Bungie owes my mother child support.
I did the math, Bungie. I was born in 1991. You've satisfied my mother in 1991. But you haven't given us any financial support in the slightest. I never learned to catch balls, throw hoops, and change those liquid things in cars because you weren't there; you left us and went West. All I've had of you were stories of your quest for world domination and sadistic rituals inlcuding keeping a dog head in the fridge. Yes, I've been told you were a crazy one, but um...well, you were a crazy one.
Despite that, I've tracked you down. And now that I have your attention for once, Daddy (if I can call you Daddy? Pa, perhaps?), I only ask one thing for compensation; a beta key. It won't make up for the past 20+ years, but it may help ease our relationship for the next 10.
Don't abandon me again, father. I looked into the eyes of your beheaded dog (I may have picked up some crazy from you and snuck in) and I have seen the future; it's our destiny to [something witty.]
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6 RepliesWhat month were you born in? Unless it was at the tail end of '91, Bungie would have to had relations with your mother in '90, which means you wouldn't be theirs, because it's stated that they pleased her in '91.
