Female armor (in regards to soldiers with helmets) is designed a certain way to let people know "This is a female and not a really skinny dude". I think the issue stems from the fact that people go too far to prove that it's a woman and they end up designing armor that is impractical on the battlefield (every fantasy MMORPG ever)
The fiction/realism behind the design should all be there behind the scenes (we don't really customize sports bras but they're there doing their job), so what really needs attention are [subtle] visual cues.
How can we say "This is a woman in armor and not a man in armor" without making the design impractical? This is key. It has to look like real armor (male armor) but at the same time we have to be able to tell that it is a woman. Otherwise, what's the point in switching avatar gender?
And I agree that this was done really well in Reach.
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You can differentiate between and armored male and an armored female with how they stand or how weight is subtly distributed. You can do this without sticking unreasonable spheres on chest armor.
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I definitely agree. I've found the ice cream cones to be distracting and unrealistic on every count. As long as the figure shapes and proportions are properly distributed, you can get away with keeping the exact same armor. I'd still vouch for slight differentiation with the visuals but not to the point where the female character is being objectified. It's a fine line to tread. Ideally, the right design would be one that is both appealing and realistic without being unnecessarily sensationalized.