JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
2/16/2022 3:10:33 PM
12

How to Make a Post in #Offtopic - 7 easy-to-follow Steps!

Hello, welcome to my 5 easy-to-follow steps on how to post in Offtopic. Offtopic is a place brimming to the... well brim with... creativity? Yeah I guess that's what you can call it. Anyway here are the easy steps to follow - as follows. 1. Make sure your posts are respondable. You don't want your audience to read your post and not have anything to say. Ask a question, feedback, have a prompt, etc. Just don't make it closed off to offtopic. Make the readers believe they are intelligent and have something witty to add on to it. 2. Shower a lot. Whenever I get ideas on what to post in this chaotic place, it always comes from the shower. In order to get more ideas and more posts - shower more. In fact, shower more than you ever have in your life. You're a filthy creature, get those thoughts flowing, shower at least 7 - 13 times a day. You should be living paycheck to paycheck with how much your water bill runs. 3. Insult your audience Offtopic is full of mas[b][/b]ochists who want to be insulted at every turn and whim. Make sure you degrade your audience and treat them as utter trash. They'll sure thank you for it! 4. You're better than everyone here Don't let other people's posts fool you; you're the smartest, funniest, and overall best person here. Act like it. Who cares what your audience thinks, they are wrong. If they don't understand your jokes, they're the stupid ones! Don't take feedback either, critique their criticisms! Spit in their silly-unsymmetric faces. 5. Don't feed the animals Offtopic is known for practically being like a zoo, we've had giraffes, tigers, carrots, bulls, bird people, fruit, bears, etc. In all cases - do not feed the animals. I know they look pretty hungry and may beg you, but their diet only allows them to eat a certain kind of molasses cookies that an old dad?...no, a guy named Ron? ...No, that's not it, only a xombie could make. If they don't eat those cookies only, I'm afraid to tell you what might happen... 6. Only make copypastas I know that I said offtopic was brimming with creativity but this is the only way you'll win, sport. Making parodies is a low-effort and sure way to win! You love winning, don't you? Just take some poor guy's post and change some words here and there and boom! Instant success. 7. Be the first to post about a Holiday when it comes up -even if it means being a week early. This way, your post will be the top one for that holiday and everyone else who is wishing a "Merry" Christmas will all look like posers. 8. Block every user. You're the only one that matters, and like that, you'll instantly rise to the top. Your posts will be so popular, it'll be as if everyone stopped posting just to honor you as the king of offtopic! 9. Leave for 5 years, pop in, say "whomst've," and then never be seen again. 10. Draw every resident of offtopic This is a surefire way to win the hearts of the people. Draw them all! Just be careful of the possibility of your sudden "disappearance." (Rip the sheriff) 11. Make allusions to the olden days Nobody likes offtopic as it is. If you're not living in the past, you're not living at all. Recall old members that everyone knew and then you'll slowly make them subconsciously change their past popularity for your current popularity! It's all about being the most adored here. Thank you for reading my 13 easy-to-follow steps on how to post in offtopic. Feel free to add more tips for new users and lurkers! And remember, deviating from these easy-to-follow steps will result in immediate termination from Offtopic!
English
#Offtopic #timns

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

View Entire Topic
  • 1) Check, my dumb shitpost that took like 30 seconds to make about flipping a dog off and being overly disdainful refuses to stay dead. 2) Water is covered by the park but the water heater is trash and only has the power for a shower or two a day. I don't mind the cold though. I shall endure. 3) I only insult the fools who have the audacity to consider themselves my target audience. 4) Strong Disagree, no one hates me more than I do. 5) Those who accept anything but Molasses Cookies have forgotten the face of their Father. 6) Please do not encourage the newbies to spew forth more sad attempts at copypastas. Their sad attempts at shitposting and kwality are bad enough. 7) Dropping the snark, I hate that. Everyone needs to make their own post to show how much they care and farm attention like its Facebook. If I was person what bans people I'd pin the first one I see to the top and delete the rest. 8) Just block Santa and his alts to collect the whole set. I think I was up to twenty before they reset the site and deleted my ban list. 9) I refuse to leave. 10) Hell no, my wrist is still killing me from the goblin. 11) I went like a decade mocking bitter old farts for going on about how cool they were in high-school, but then Bungie took several fat dumps on the community and like 20 children poured in out of nowhere. Aside from the obnoxious trash they do they're either following me around trying to pick a fight like Otter or brown nosing like Crowley. They're like my cousin crashing on the couch, reeking of skunk weed and swamp a[i]s[/i]s from only bathing once a month, shouting and making noises to fill silence then wondering why no one likes having him around. The only reason I haven't muted the lot of them is because Bungie broke the website and it takes like 2 minutes to load anyone's profile. That's about it, see ya

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

    3 Replies
    You are not allowed to view this content.
    ;
    preload icon
    preload icon
    preload icon