It is past time for me to give you some feedback, so here you go. Quick preface: sometimes, when I get into analytical mode, i can sound really negative. i don't want to give off this vibe because despite what you claim, your stories aren't that bad. I wouldn't say they are good, but I wouldn't say they are bad, and you should be proud of that. You've definitely improved, and I'm not the only one who sees that. This is analyzing all 7 parts to your backstory as a whole. I have to say, your backstory doesn't feel complete. Quick summary of the whole thing: parts 1-2 is the prison break part 3 is the attack on the Offtopian base part 4 is blowing up the ring part 5 is sending 6 more rings and part 6 -7 is evacuating the planet. I say that your backstory isn't complete because it seems like you just strung the major, action-packed parts together with no thought to anything in-between. If you read this in a true linear fashion, like in a real novel, it basically is: two new characters, then they get attacked, then they blow something up, now they're in space, with no interruptions. We get a lot of cool action parts, but there is almost nothing backing that up. In the last chapter, you talk about how Silencer failed his friends and family, and this part is really well-written on its own, but within the context of the story, it falls short. Yeah, Silencer's home, friends, and family has been destroyed, but we get almost nothing about his home. The only "family" he has is when his brother died in the first two seconds of the novel. Yeah, silencer has friends, but 90% (fake statistic btw) of the dialog is just orders, they don't really act like friends. What should have been a 20-30 part backstory has been reduced to 7 parts because you only write about the big turning points. What happens is your story starts going in a circle because you've written 7 turning points without any median parts. Quick example: In the first chapter, Silencer loses his brother, right off the bat. This is a bomb. You have dropped a bomb on the readers in the first chapter; very bold. Honestly, this is very smart writing of you because it gives Silencer all the motivation/passion he needs to fight the Phantoms. HOWEVER, Silencer's brother is never once mentioned again. This like dropping the bomb, but it doesn't explode. Hayden's death has no visible ramifications nor any visible impact on the story. It's bad to throw away small details, but it's especially bad to throw away large details like this. How do we fix this? [b]Write more[/b]. That's it. And not just more turning points or battle scenes. Give us a part where all they do is eat lunch and talk about the war, give us a part where Silencer practically yells at his squad because he's dealing with he grief of his brother, or give us a part where Silencer trains and [b]earns[/b] the loyalty of his men. This is completely up to you. Writing battles is just a small part of writing a really solid story. You have 9 days in between parts 2 and 3. You have 3 weeks in between parts 3 and 4. (storywise). Use this time to fill your backstory with detail so that when you do end up writing a big turning point/battle, there is a lot of tension, passion, motivation, and, most of all, meaning behind it. Those^ were your issues with big details, but you also have a few issues with small details. The best way I can describe on how to write good, small details is to obviously imply everything. You don't want to simply tell the reader what is happening, you want them to figure it out. However, if you don't explain it well enough, then the reader is confused. Simple example: I will write 3 versions of the same detail: 1. Kyle was shot in the stomach 2. Kyle held his stomach, blood seeping through his fingers. His breathing became shallow and quick, and his face was pale. 3. Kyle keeled over, clutching his stomach. From what Silencer could see through the chaos, he had fallen over and was lying on the ground. He squirmed in discomfort, his face gritted with pain. Now, version 2 is the best because instead of just saying he was shot, I described the wound. This makes the reader feel smart and present with the experience because you generally deal with a bullet wound when somebody gets shot, not being shot yourself. Number 1 is bad because its too short and it doesn't have enough detail. Kyle gets shot, but people get shot every day, it's not that big of a deal. Number 3 is also bad because its too vague. This could mean many different things, did Kyle actually get shot, or Dd the Phantoms have some sort of bio-weapon? Or maybe he got a stomach cramp because their food was poisoned? I will say that sometimes using versions 1 and 3 can actually be a good thing, depending on what you are going for. If you are trying to downplay Kyle's wound, like in a humorous part or a part with many casualties, you'll use number one. If you are trying to overplay Kyle's wound, like in a very chaotic or mysterious part, and you want to confuse the reader, use number three. Typically, number two will be best, not directly telling the reader what is going on, but giving them [b]very obvious[/b] implications. I know that this is a lot to throw at you in one comment, but I really should have been checking up on these more often. Life got a little more busy and I stopped reading stories for a bit, so I'm sorry. This comment may sound negative, and it may seem like I want you to shut up and stop writing, [b]but that is not true.[/b] Keep writing, you have talent, but it just needs to grow and develop a little bit more.

Another story writer? Meh.

Lol, sorry about all the downvotes. I can see real progress in your writing man, keep up the amazing work.

These are getting better! Just remember to post in the morning.