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Destiny 2

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Edited by Warlock Holmes: 9/24/2018 2:56:42 PM
6

Sherlock Holmes story part two

[spoiler]ok, so honestly part one and two where supposed to be read together but the character limit stopped that. So if the story feels rushed or anything that might be it. Anyways i hope you enjoy. Read part one first ([url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/248758754/0/0]part one[/url]) and Thank you for reading my story on [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/248685207/0/0]bungie.net[/url]. Feedback will be appreciated. [/spoiler] I followed my friend around what seemed like half the tower. When I tried to ask Sherlock where we were going he would only say stuff like it’s obvious, which soon grew super annoying. But we eventually arrived at the future war cult outpost nearby. “Sherlock, by the traveler, why are we here” I finally asked my warlock friend. “Apparently it’s not obvious. Why would a murder be cleaned up so quickly without investigation. Unless it wasn’t the war cult at all. Maybe the murder was cleaning up the body. And the only one to clean up the body without being noticed was...” Sherlock said. “Our client mr. Jason! But why would he murder his peer, and why would he alert us” I finish. “Precisely Watson. Let us figure out shall we” the detective says, pushing open the door to the outpost. Inside seemed very frantic. Everyone was rushing around doing something important apparently. “Why would I not expect to find you here. Something happens and you stick your no good noise face in the situation” Campaigne a familiar voice. The voice of Lakshmi-2, the leader of the war cult. “Ahh, there you are. I figured you needed a detective that actually was good at there job, unlike the ones you have” Sherlock calls back while moving further into the room. “I take it you don’t like the war cult, or they don’t like you” I said the the detective, who only laughs before waking up to a computer. “I would ask you what is the problem but I already know. Someone stole something from you didn’t they. I can tell from the hilarious face you have. A look of nervousness and fear. Everyone here frantically trying to find it. It’s quite funny actually” the detective says. “What do you want Holmes? I’ve already had a long day I don’t need you tricks.” The exo asks. “No tricks, I just want to help you. There is nothing else to do in this world anyways. What was stolen?” Sherlock replied. “Weapon codes, powerful ones. Now Holmes, why would I trust you.” The exo says. But Sherlock walks out of the building and I follow. Once we get outside I ask “Sherlock, will you explain to me what’s going on! First there was a murder and now the cult is talking about stolen weapon codes. Please explain” “Well I think you do deserve a explanation. Last night when our client was here I noticed the helmet he had was not his own. It was a couple sizes smaller then my estimated guess of his head size. Also there where specks of blood on it. Fresh blood. His disguise was good, but could only fool lesser intelligences but not me. My theory was backed up when I found that the victim was indeed pushed and backed up even more when I searched the war cults archives to find no mention of a mr Jason. Which leads me to believe that he was the murderer, using the murder to distract us, while stealing the codes” Sherlock explains. “Wow, just wow Sherlock. How can you do that. That’s amazing.” “It’s elementary my dear Watson. Now come along, the game is afoot.” Sherlock says. I followed Sherlock until we arrived as mr. Jason’s house where we found our client packing up, about to leave. “Going somewhere? I believe you have something to return to the war cult” Sherlock says with a snicker. Mr Jason starts running and Sherlock chases after him. I begin to follow but Sherlock is a expert at this, strategically planing every movement. Eventually I saw Sherlock run into a old warehouse and I followed. “Ghost, Scan the Area. Will find this guy.” Sherlock says pulling out his ghost. “Come out mr Jason. I have evidence of what your doing, come out and maybe your sentence might be lighter” Sherlock calls out. I decided to look for the upper levels of the warehouse. “Well of course your sentence will be lighter only if the war cult allows you to live. They are a war cult after all” Sherlock taunts, almost if he wants to get shot. A glimpse of light catches my eye and I look to see mr Jason holding a sniper rifle, aimed directly at Sherlock’s ghost. I acted quick enough enough to pull out my gun and shoot at the sniper. The shot missed but it startled mr Jason, causing him to drop the sniper and startle him, as he Fell right off the railing and to his death. “Nice shot Watson” Sherlock says a little bit later, holding up a necklace with a flash card on the end. The weapon codes. “Do you find it a little ironic that he pushed a guy to his death and then fell to his death” I ask. “Karma kills as the saying goes” Sherlock says with a chuckle. “Why did you have your ghost out? You could have died!” Watson said. “What’s the fun without the mortal danger?” Sherlock asks. I just sigh, and me and Sherlock walk out of the warehouse and back to baker street. The end? [spoiler]since this is the first story I will let you know this time. There is a hidden message somewhere in here. You just got to find it. [/spoiler]

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  • Nice work. I want to say two things: 1. Maybe emphasize the Destiny universe a little more. For me, it felt like a normal Sherlock story with some occasional Destiny sprinkled in. Maybe that’s what you were going for. I personally would want a little more Destiny in there, but that’s just me though. 2. Maybe extend the duration of a case from 1-2 posts to maybe 3-4. That way, you can emphasize the mystery, create more build up and add more tension. It felt like Sherlock solved everything in two seconds. Have him struggle to find meaning and maybe even loose from time to time. I’d find that to be more interesting. Again, maybe that’s just me.

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