🥖🥖🥖 Oh god not this again. So I go to the prison of elders with Cayde because he wanted to show me that weird shit Petra can do with her knife. I thought it was cool and stuff but my question is if she could do that why did she need help to stop this prison riot? AnYwAy I went from room to room killing everything I saw. I was using my Whisper of the Worm so of course Jeffery the Tape Worm was commenting on everything I did. He constantly complained about my shit aim. So I decided to just dismantle him... that’ll teach the bitch! Theeeen I walked into a large hallway where I met a cabal and his friendly Psion chad. They both have stopped fighting and want to find their purpose in life and become one with the universe. So Cayde golden gunned them both. While me and Cayde were pressing every button in the control room, Petra finds out that the 8 barons were dabbing on the haters and trying to escape to Minecraft. Cayde shuts down the Minecraft hunger games server and tries to fight the barons head on. He tried to dab on the borons. But they unpredictability dabbed back. His ghost was overwhelmed by dabs and died. When I found Cayde he was dying. And I’ll never forget what he said to me. Cayde: DerpyTaco, I don’t feel so good. DerpyTaco: Your fine. Cayde: I- I don’t want to go please I don’t want to go. I- I’m sorry... DerpyTaco: F RIP Cayde. Now I’m going to speak to the Spider and get help to dab on the borons. He was like sure I’ll give you my army of hedgehogs, but before you leave why not buy some masterwork cores? I buy five cores. Spider: Oh and the price doubles with every purchase. DerpyTaco:🖕🤣🔫 Well now I’m going to give a quick run down on the boron fights. Rider- GAS GAS GAS! I'm gonna step on the gas Tonight I'll fly! And be your lover Yeah yeah yeah! I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero Trickster- DerpyTaco: Wow an exotic!? (Exotic explodes) DerpyTaco: What is this sorcery!? —————————————————— DerpyTaco: Ha! The jig is up Trickster! I got you now. Trickster: I’m actually the Spanish Inquisition!! DerpyTaco: No! That’s not true! That’s impossible! Trickster: Now I will put a whale in a teacup, then put a teacup in a whale! DerpyTaco: Nooooooooo! Mad Bomber- Bomber: Stupid Cabal knowing but you not knowing. HEEEE HEEEE HEEEE! DerpyTaco: Can I have some of what you’re on? Hangman- Ghost: If we free those servitors they might help us fight. DerpyTaco: 🤔 —————————————————— (A Door burst open and thousands of servitors flood a room filled with Skorn.) DerpyTaco: SUCK MY BIG PURPLE BALLS!!!!!!!!!! Mind Bender- (Mind Bender rips open a hole into his throne world.) Mind Bender: Unlimited Power!!! —————————————————— DerpyTaco: It’s over Hiraks! I have the high ground. Mind Bender: You underestimate my power. DerpyTaco: Don't try it. Mind Bender: REEEEEEEE!!! (The Mind Bender rushes forward only to be stabbed Through the heart by a hive Sword. The Mind Bender stumbles back and collapses.) DerpyTaco: You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would, destroy the Hive, not join them. It was you who would bring balance to the Reef, not leave it to Darkness. Mind Bender: The hell are you going on about? If you’re gonna kill me kill me. DerpyTaco: Shut up and let me finish... You were my brother, Hiraks. I loved you. Mind Bender: Not gonna lie that’s pretty gay. DerpyTaco: It sounded better in my head. No homo. Rifle Man- DerpyTaco: Ohhhhhhh get no scoped!!Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhnhhhhhhhhhhhh! Get on my level nerd *dabs* wooooo- Fanatic- DerpyTaco: Look you stupid bastard you’ve got no arms left. Fanatic: Yes I have! DerpyTaco: Look. Fanatic: It’s just a flesh wound. Come on then. DerpyTaco: What are you gonna do, bleed on me? So they are all dead now to go kill Uldren. Wait never mind he just got eaten. Now I had to fight this Magic Space Tentacle Vagina Thing! My god bungie couldn’t you have just given us a Taken Knight to shoot instead of that -blam!-ed up shit? Well anyway if I learned anything from shovel knight it’s that you can solve all your problems with a shovel. So using the cores I got from Spider, I infused a shovel with my Weaboo stick, giving me my SUPER WEABOO SHOVEL STICK. I then repeatedly beat it to death. It eventually lost so much Brain cells that it banged its head against concrete and gave birth to a shovel. After I exterminated that thing I dabbed on Uldren. 🥖🥖🥖 Edit: I forgot the Machinist because I was on the ether the bomber gave me. Edit2: glad to see people enjoying this. Also thank you ninjas for not banning me this time😊