Construct a wooden effigy in her image, then set it aflame with the fires of your heart (and actual fire, since your heart won't actually make it catch fire). She'll be all over you. She'll have to converse with you then! Be warned, though. Several things can go wrong which I will now go over in detail in the section below. --- [b]Warning:[/b] Make sure you can identify which one is the [b]effigy[/b] and which one is the [b]human[/b]. You don't want to accidentally burn the wrong one. Instead of being all over you, she'll just be all over. [b]Second Warning:[/b] Do not "[i]accidentally[/i]" fall in love with the effigy while creating it. Your family will not understand the love you two will share. [b]Third Warning:[/b] Do not, and I repeat, do not-- [i]What was that noise? Oh, hold on a second. My wife's arm just fell off. I gotta go fix it right quick... ... ... ... Alright, I'm back. Where were we? Hey, you seem concerned... If it's about my wife, you really shouldn't be concerned. I mean, it isn't that big of a deal. You see, the wood I used to build her isn't exactly the strongest, so it falls apart rather easily. Especially the arms.[/i] (I really went on a tangent there. I guess that's why this subforum is called... *puts on sunglasses* ...Off-Topic. YEEAAAHHHH!)