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Surf a Flood of random discussion.
2/7/2018 5:46:29 AM
49

Shitposting megathread (Flood Series Finale)

Let's do what we do best Flood, let's shitpost till the end. I AIN'T GONNA RUN AND HIDE I'LL SHITPOST TILL THE DAY I DIE.

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    Soo... who's got the cheerios copypasta?

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    • [b]UUI - Upper Uriel's Infection[/b] this is a Fatal Disease, resulting in instant death from HCR (high Caliber rounds). HCR is not commonly found in the Destiny 2 Universe, but one is to avoid all contact with HCR, as it affects the Face, and general head area resulting in Death. Once you have HCR it instantly leads to UUI which causes Death. common Symptoms of UUI is Death. common causes is Death. commonly found in and around Death. instantly.... [b]CIV - Colonial Invasive Virus[/b] This Virus is contracted by coming into Direct or indirect contact with other Guardian's Colony. it is commonly found around Heavy Ammo Drops and you should be on the lookout for Team mates popcorning on the Horizon. common Symptons of CIV - is Severe Misdirection, absurd jumping and uncoordinated team running in every direction. [b]CPSNS - or better known as Corner Peaking Sword Ninja Syndrome.[/b] CPSNS kills more Guardians in PVP than a "eeuw gross" kills boners at an orgy. this fatal syndrome, affects the wielder of the Sword, in such a way, where once Heavy ammo is picked up, fits of rage ensue and it ultimately leads to the death of the other teams members. common Symptoms are the severe desire, to crouch and stand against a wall while peaking into the horizon, slowly moving backward and forward with excitement as you see the opponent approaching, and making "hoo haa, ahahaha" noises with your mouth as you rage on killing people. the only way to Kill CPSNS is by Cutting off the oxygen supply to the Wielder, by using HCR, resulting in UUI, resulting in Death. [b]MMB - also known as Mida Multitool Bitchingitus[/b] its a disease that kills in 5 short hits or less, and is extremely airborne. it can travel vast distances in an instant and can kill instantly. common symptoms are memory loss and loss of speech, our studies have shown the most common memory loss /speech loss is triggered by a hit from MMB, and it normally is identified by the following Verbal response "who the...what the? wait a mi....." then death. [b]CBD or Sinsinitus (cluster bomb Death)[/b] Sinsinitus a lethal strand you get from contracting Raidies. Raidies affects a vast amount of people, 6 at a time, that puts them in n comatose state for a couple of hours and results in loss of sleep, appetite, income, jobs... etc. Sinsinitus however, is a strand found in Raidies, that Kills more Guardians in one Go then a Fireteam on crack with a Colony full of CIV. it does a lethal amount of damage to the skin and bruises the ego and KD in all cases. resulting in multiple Deaths per fireteam, common symptoms are -Popcorning Guardians, followed by a Thundering sound and a Light show that will give you arc eyes. once you see a guardian with Raidies, the chances of you getting Sinsinitus is more than likely. 4 out of every 4 people in control, are affected by Sinsinitus. the only way to kill Sinsinitus is with HCR which results in UUI which Results in Death.

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    • L     M    A     O     o      o     o     。    。   .   .    .

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    • The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

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    • I love you all

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    • You want to become a Ninja? Just fill out the following form: Forum Ninja Application Please explain all answers. 1. User Name 2. Location 3. Why do you want to become a Forum Ninja (choose from below)? a. Excellent salary and benefits b. Hot chix c. Naked pics of stosh d. There is one specific user I want to ban and I am "rage-applying" e. All of the above 4. Please rank the current Forum Ninjas from hottest to ugliest. 5. Who is your favorite Forum Ninja and why did you pick Foman? 6. You are in attendance at a hotel party at PAX and notice that Yoozel is facedown on the floor and appears to be attempting to "swim" towards the bathroom. Do you: a. Get him another drink b. Film the event and upload to YouTube c. Help him to the bathroom d. A and B only e. All of the above 7. If you had to permaban one Bungie employee who would it be and why? 8. What is the best state-of-mind for moderating the forums? a. Slightly buzzed b. Drunk c. Blacked out d. Other (please specify) 9. How soon should Private Message appeals be answered? a. One year b. Never 10. Which of the following is an inappropriate reason to ban a member? a. The user is Mythic and you want to "take them down a notch." b. The user claims to be female, and is automatically probably lying. c. The user just beat you in an argument. d. The user is using the "avatar of the day" as posted in HFCS's "Automatic Bans" thread. e. None of the above are inappropriate reasons. 11. Please explain why the following statement is true: "I think that users need to be banned every once in awhile even if they are not breaking any rules, just to show them who's boss."

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    • Once upon a time ppl did bad stuff and God said “Guess you’re gonna burn in hell kiddo.” Until one day he told someone they were gonna have his son even though that person told everyone she was a virgin and when the kiddo was born he started preaching tolerance and acceptance but people were so used to burning in hell now that they just excecuted him and by that time God was sick of people and sending them to burn in hell so he just left with his son and abandoned humanity. And they all lived happily ever after.

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    • Send doods

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    • I am be dangerous now Not me hurt When stairs fell down Me pushed by you Me hit head Me nose broke Soon you be dead Soon you be dead So strong my face is You punch break fingers Kick me you're limping Stab me you're bleeding I am be angerous now You throwing rock at me Hit eye and it no hurt me I'm strong You're not You're not I'm making time for fighting I'm clearing time for hitting We'll meet I will beat you Our schedules permitting I pick out fighting outfit Don't want my pants too tight Need clothes to breath to beat you You'll be beaten down tonight I'm so -blam!-ing tough I'm so -blam!-ing tough That's right I'm so -blam!-ing tough I'm so -blam!-ing tough That's right You're an ugly man You're as dumb as sand Your mom's -blam!-ing fat Your mom blew a rat You are a mistake You have sex with cake You think you're so tough You're a living bluff I will put you down I will make you drown I will make you bleed I am filled with speed I cannot feel pain I might be insane I am victory I write history Feel my fist On your face You hate this I feel great One, two, three, four Five, six, seven, eight One, two, three, four Five, six, seven, eight So strong my face is You punch break fingers Kick me you're limping Stab me you're bleeding I am be furious now You say the bad word at me You pull a string and trip me I fall down You run You run I am making time for fighting I think it's time to beat you I think it's good decision That I destroy and teach you You put on very fast shoes And try to run away I'm very strong and fast though You're going down today You're so -blam!-ing weak I'm so -blam!-ing strong That's right You're so -blam!-ing weak I'm so -blam!-ing strong That's right You're so -blam!-ing weak I'm so -blam!-ing strong That's right You're so -blam!-ing weak I'm so -blam!-ing strong That's right

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    • Game destiny ja

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    • It is the 21st Millennium. For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor of Offtopic has sat immobile on the Golden Toilet of Bungie.Net. He is the master of Offtopic by the will of the moderators and master of a million crappy copypastes by the might of his inexhaustible alternate accounts. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of the Flood. He is the Carrion Lord of the vast Imperium of Offtopic for whom a thousand dead memes are sacrificed every day so that he may never truly die. Yet even in his deathless state, the Emperor continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty battlefleets cross the banhammer-infested miasma of the Forum, the only route between distant posts, their way lit by the Porchstronomicon, the psychic manifestation of the Emperor's attention span. Vast users call each other names in His name on uncounted posts. Greatest amongst his soldiers are the Adeptus Altstartes, the Meme Marines, meme-engineered super alts. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Forum Lurkers and countless Offtopic defence forces, the ever-vigilant Ban-Happy Ninjas and the meme-priests of the Adeptus Memechanicus to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat to Offtopic from #Destiny, Moderators, Common Sense -- and far, far worse. To be a user in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the dumbest and most pointless regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for no one here payed attention in high school, those lessons never to be relearned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dank future there are only political arguments. There is no peace amongst the Forums, only an eternity of bans and temper tantrums, and the laughter of thirsting Bungie Employees.

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    • Somebody once told to write some girls some poetry I ain't the sharpest knife in the shed She was lookin' like a wreck with a rope around her neck Cuttin' off the flow of blood to her forehead Well, the girls start dyin' and they don't stop dyin' Les to the club and I tried my hand writin' Didn't make sense not to cut your arms Your game gets saved but your friends get harmed So much to do, so much to see So much for going out with Sayori You might as well date the club pres You better tell Monika "yes" Hey now, you're a poet Get your books on, alright Hey now, now you've blown it Load an old save? No dice And all your waifus are dead Time to uninstall and reset

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      • Any more shit posts are gonna cost you $201.50.

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      • Edited by Peaches Pan Tao: 2/8/2018 7:56:20 AM
        My one and only you tube video. Qualifies as shit post... I'm not counting my twitch stream videos...

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      • Edited by Space2001_: 2/9/2018 11:16:42 PM
        [b] [/b] [b] [/b] [b] [/b] [b] [/b] [b] [/b] [b] [/b] [b] [/b] [b] [/b]

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      • Edited by Horacio Crux: 2/7/2018 11:56:18 PM
        Name/nickname: Gender: Age: Personality: Items: (Not required) Appearance: Ability: (Just like enhanced strength or endurance or something, not required) Bio: (Not required) I just hit shift, kill me.

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      • NEVER GONE GIVE UP SHITPOSTS NEVER GONNA LET IT DIE NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE AND HURT IT

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      • Instructions unclear shit stuck in post box...

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      • ming=blown

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        • https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=shitpost&safe=strict&dcr=0&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi9z52R25TZAhXLIsAKHURwCOoQ_AUICSgB&biw=360&bih=511#imgrc=bCNeyDmErfOnnM:

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        • Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you never know when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

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          • We need as many people here. https://www.bungie.net/en/Groups/Chat?groupId=3039142 Offtopic refugee camp! Spread the word! It may say Offtopic but it's a place for gaming too.

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          • xdddddd Bottom text

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          • Haha rip

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          • Construct a wooden effigy in her image, then set it aflame with the fires of your heart (and actual fire, since your heart won't actually make it catch fire). She'll be all over you. She'll have to converse with you then! Be warned, though. Several things can go wrong which I will now go over in detail in the section below. --- [b]Warning:[/b] Make sure you can identify which one is the [b]effigy[/b] and which one is the [b]human[/b]. You don't want to accidentally burn the wrong one. Instead of being all over you, she'll just be all over. [b]Second Warning:[/b] Do not "[i]accidentally[/i]" fall in love with the effigy while creating it. Your family will not understand the love you two will share. [b]Third Warning:[/b] Do not, and I repeat, do not-- [i]What was that noise? Oh, hold on a second. My wife's arm just fell off. I gotta go fix it right quick... ... ... ... Alright, I'm back. Where were we? Hey, you seem concerned... If it's about my wife, you really shouldn't be concerned. I mean, it isn't that big of a deal. You see, the wood I used to build her isn't exactly the strongest, so it falls apart rather easily. Especially the arms.[/i] (I really went on a tangent there. I guess that's why this subforum is called... *puts on sunglasses* ...Off-Topic. YEEAAAHHHH!)

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            • Toast/Envelope Method An incredibly successful and completely legitimate way to ensure a Female is attracted to you. The first step is relatively easy. Put a two slices of Toast in an envelope with the female's name on it. Step two requires patience; requiring a 48 hour period of zero contact until the female gives back the envelope. Do not open the envelope again until you're in a secure environment. If step two was performed successfully, the envelope should now contain nude pics of your target. Step three requires speaking to her alone using a secret code: If you ask: "Is the peanut butter in the potato?" and she answers with: "No it is in the apple sauce.", then the Toast/Envelope Method was performed successfully and you can continue your courtship on your own terms. Alternatively, if you are kicked in the testicles upon uttering the code, it is safe to say she is not interested.

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