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originally posted in:The New Dojo
12/20/2017 5:37:54 PM
1
"Holy shit....I wonder how he wipes his ass?"
[i]Zane chuckled as he walked over to the long table, raising his arm to get the leaders attention.[/i]
"I would love to take part in this contest!"
English
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Lilly would immediately move to the front of the crowd as Zane approached the table, giggling as he did so. The announcer looked to him, his large beer belly falling over his belt. “Har Har! Excellent! Take a seat opposite from Big Brutus then!” He told Zane, gesturing to the seat beside him. The fat man looked at Zane with sweaty eyes...his lips were pursed like a squished marshmallow and his blond hair seemed to be having a hard time growing with all the fat that was on his head. “Youuuuu. Once I’m done eating these like it was my Sunday lunch, I’mma show you the power of a Celtic eater! HYAAA!” Brutus taunted....horribly.
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[i]Zane chuckled as he took his seat, setting his weapons aside.[/i] "Ha, il show you not to underestimate the nightingale clan!"
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“Alright there folks...let’s begin this food eating massacre in 3! 2! 1....EAT!!!” Brutus immediately grabbed two T-Bone steaks from the one hundred that were on his side of the table, and took a massive bite out of them simultaneously. His little marshmallow mouth seemed to unhinge like a snake upon doing so.
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[i]Zane ignored his morbidly obese foe, instead grabbing two legs of mutton and devouring them almost instantly. He hadn't eaten since the tournament began, so his stomach was quite empty. He continues to devour the food with ease, his stomach quite possibly a black hole.[/i]
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The fat man looked up from his food with wide eyes, seeing that Zane had already devoured 5 out of the 100 good items that were there, compared to his three. “Oh I don’t think sooooo!” He bellowed as he grabbed the mutton and slurped the meat off the bones five times in quick succession.
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[i]Zane grabbed multiple bowls of fine soup and bread, slurping them down and chomping into the bread. He then reached for a giant bowl of ramen, throwing the chopsticks away and instead picking it up with his hands. He emptied the bowl within 10 seconds, then proceeded to grab three steaks and devour them as well.[/i]
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“GYAAAAAAH! YOU SHALL NOT DEFEAT MY FOOD EATING SKILLS!” Yelled Brutus as he grasped for the chilli, literally throwing five bowls into his mouth, eating the ceramic and all. With a mighty gulp he chugged down three jugs of milk, before sliding an entire plate of steak between his pursed, fat, revolting lips.
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[i]Zane laid eyes on the biggest prize in the table, which just so happened to be his favorite food. It was a giant siracha glazed buffalo chicken sub, about 30 feet long. With more speed and grace then his opponent he devoured the sub within seconds, then reached for a whole chicken breast and ate that as well. [/i]
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“NOOOOOO! MY CHICKEN DELUXE!!! YOU FIEND! YOU TYRANT!!!” The fat man yelled as his chair cracked from beneath him. However he hardly lost any height, and began to use his fat baby arms to start sweeping food into his mouth.
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[i]Zane decided to increase his speed a bit, and continued to devour the food on the table. His stomach was only just starting to fill, and he could eat so much more. He grabbed a massive cheesesteak sub, and ate that with ease. [/i]
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His foe was waning, Zane could tell. He was sweating perfusly, and considering he hadn’t had any water he was likely sweating the grease accumulated from the food he had eaten. His face was a dark red as he continued to devour what was ever in front of him.
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[i]Zane took the time to drink 10 gallons of water, which allowed his stomach to settle. He continued to eat the food, the table starting to look empty.[/i]
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“Nghhhhhhhh....” the fat man let out painfully as he tried to reach for a steak, but his arms couldn’t reach it. It was one of his last items. “No...NO. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!” He yelled as he continued to try to reach for it.
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[i]Zane banged on the table with great force, the steak flipping up and into his mouth as he caught it. He chewed slowly, savoring the juices and flavor. The last item he took his time with, finally finishing the last bite within 5 minutes. He let out a large burp, covering his mouth afterwards.[/i] "My that was quite loud, excuse me."
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“No...it’s...imposiblUGHHHHHHHH.” Brutus keeled over, defeated, and he remained still on the ground. The announcer helped Zane from his seat, and raised his hand in the air. “OUR NEW RAGNAROK CHAMPION! IS...eh...what did you say your name was again?”
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[i]Zane picked up his weapons and sheathed them, speaking loudly.[/i] "Zane, Zane Nightingale. Last of the Nightingale Clan."
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The crowd mumbled for a moment...and then went wild! “HA! It would be you wouldn’t it?! How could I even doubt that the slayer of majora and the bane of Tywin would have the ability to take down our very own Brutus!?” The man would reach behind him, before handing Zane a golden fork. “The trophy of our humble establishment, use it with pride!” Zane couldn’t help but notice Lilly laughing as she clapped along with everyone else. It was a rather interesting scenario....
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[i]He examined the fork, it's shining gold was almost blinding. He raised it high and held it with pride.[/i] "With this fork I shall devour the most delicate of dishes! It will be used on the most delicious of foods! I, the Slayer of Majora, will not let you down!"
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Everyone cheered! Along with a few “hip hip hoorays!” The announcer patted him on the back before the crowd began to disperse and move along with their day.
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[i]Zane outstretched his hand outward, and a small portal opened up. When Lily gazed Inside, she saw many different types of weapons lying in what looked like a giant vault. He placed the fork inside and closed the portal, rubbing his stomach.[/i] "Oh man, now that was a feast fit for a king!"
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“Or a morbidly obeise man!” Lilly said with a giggle again. “Wow. You sure y-you didn’t go into the wrong profession? I’m sure there’s more eating competitions out there!”
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[i] Zane chuckled as well, then drew his buster sword and simply stared at it.[/i] "Na, being a hero and helping people is what I was meant to do. There's nothing that's more satisfying then saving a life. Plus fighting is in my blood, quite literally. Don't forget I come from a clan of assassin's."
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“Oh right....whelp! If you ever need a fallback plan! Here you go!” Lilly commented before continuing to walk down the street with Zane.
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[i]Zane put his buster sword on his back and followed behind the Ashen haired girl.[/i] "Eh, I like fighting too much to stop. I'm even working on getting my magic back. Not an easy task....I'm only able to open up spacial storage because of my ring."
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Edited by Inflatablepants: 12/20/2017 11:39:03 PM“Oh? Ya I guess there aren’t too many S-sages left on Tatakai. Way back when, there would usually be one in every major city or town! I guess technology is a lot more easier to use as well as instantly gratifying. N-not many people have the patience for learning magic anymore. At least that’s what I-I’ve learned since I’ve been back.”
