"Does it matter?" Alpha stopped, sighing and looking down "I've been in pain for most of my life. What's a litte more? Doesn't hurt so much when you're drunk." She clenched her hands tightly. "I wake up every morning with the weight of my sins and pain pressing down on me. I wake up with pain not even mine, floating in my memories." Alpha resumed walking "People try to help. People don't. It never worked." She stopped once they were within sight of a small fighter next to a larger cruiser. "I didn't pick up the drink until recently. Unlike you, I don't have the buddies to afford a luxury like sobriety."